As a modern day mum, with a busy schedule and a lot of online life, I find it very easy to get in from work, sit down with a cuppa and check all my different platforms of social media that I have accounts on.
It's something that has had an impact on my life now probably for about 8 years and it has got progressively worse as the years have gone on. Instagram is my personal fave, with Facebook a close second, then twitter, and finally Pinterest. Thats not including my emails and whatsapp.
I've never really noticed that its probably impacting on Noah's life until very recently.
He has said things such as "mummy you don't like playing with me do you", "you don't watch me do things mummy". This absolutely breaks my heart to think that his perception on this little box that I carry around in my hand 24/7 is more important than what he is doing, saying or trying to show me.
If i leave my phone in another room, he brings it out to me, saying "mummy you forgot your phone" and I hate this that he thinks it is so important to me.
Not only is it a hugely neglectful way to treat my completely precious child, but what chance does he have in the future of not becoming one of those saddo kids that is obsessed with computer games and tablets, if that is all he has seen growing up? I want a child who loves going out playing with his friends, kicking a ball around, riding his bike.
Behaviour is learned as they say, and just recently his behaviour hasn't been great. I think we have no option but to take the blame for this and realise that maybe it is a huge cry for attention. Tonight I played catch with him, literally throwing a balloon to each other, and he loved it. His face was beaming. This is not something he should be excited about, it should be the norm.
From now on, I am making sure that I do not sit on my phone all night. In fact, I will not go on it until he has gone to bed. It is not fair on him in the slightest that his childhood will just be full of memories of looking at the top of my head, looking down at my phone.
Thinking about this tonight has made me feel really emotional and I'm not sure whether the reality of how bad a parent I really am has hit me or if it's because I feel so bloody ill at the moment.
Either way, its time for bed.
Night y'all! xxx
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