Thursday, 24 September 2015

A message to my husband

To Tony,

You are working harder than you have ever worked at the moment. Basically working 2 full time jobs. 
We feel like we never see you, Noah says most nights that he misses daddy and I know you miss family time too.

I often feel like a single parent, dealing most nights with the bedtime routine, trying my hardest to make sure I do enough with Noah whilst still trying to keep the house in order and make sure you have dinner ready and waiting for that small gap you may have between clients. I feel as though I can't do anything socially or for myself because no-one will be here to look after Noah if I do.
I was contemplating joining a gym as I don't get a chance to use ours but then I thought it's pointless because I'll never have chance to use it! 

You genuinely do spend more time with your work colleagues and clients than you do us and it's often a strain for us to even have a conversation.

I just want to say, I know its not forever (or should I say it bloody better not be). I know we should return to normality at some point. I understand that setting up your own business requires hard work and more hours than you have yourself and I'll do everything I can to help and support you.

But please, please, please consider leaving your full time job at some point in the near future.
If we are skint, we are skint! If we can just afford to pay the bills and have no money for anything classed as a luxury in life, then so be it! 
If we have to live on value food, then its something we will have to deal with. If i can't even afford a pair of primark shoes, my Louboutin's will have to become a regular occurrence with regards to my wardrobe choices! :-) 

Life is short, lets not waste too much of it apart. I don't want you working every possible hour for much longer.

You will succeed, I know you will. You are intelligent, passionate about your field and are valued by so many in the personal training world who actually mean something. I just can't see how it could possibly not work out. 

You've got to believe in yourself and take that leap at some point, so lets do this! 

Love you always and forever,

Your annoying nagging wife,

Sara xxx

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Accustomed to the lifestyle

With Noah starting school almost 2 weeks ago, I've had the time off work to help him settle in and pick him up for the half days he has been doing. 
This time off has been unpaid as I have no annual leave left, so have taken it as parental leave.

These two weeks I have to say have been fatal for me. I have seriously fallen in love with the stay-at-home mum lifestyle. 
My day is absolutely stress free! Once Noah is at school, I get home, put the washing on, unload the dishwasher, hang the washing out on the airer, put another wash-load on, generally 'over tidy' the house and I'm loving every minute of it.

Every day I have time to think about what we're having for dinner, make sure it is ready so Tony can eat before he starts PT in the evening and load the dishwasher so that the kitchen looks tidy.

Noah is in bed every night on time, with a story read and his uniform out ready for the next day.

My life has never felt so organised, I have never felt so happy and I have never dreaded returning to work quite as much. (That may be a lie, I think I dread returning after every time off, but this time is different).
I have had a real insight into how relaxed our house and family could feel every day and I really like the impact it has had.

Tony has less to do (if anything) when he gets home apart from prepare for his PT client and I really like that aspect too. I know its all about women being equal etc nowadays, but I'm not going to beat around the bush, I love looking after my man. I love having dinner done for him and him being chilled out when he gets home. 

I love baking during the day, so that him and Noah come home to little treats and I love greeting him with a cup of tea ready for when he walks through the door.

As we have our new pet bunny, Jessica, I can imagine being home even more. Cuddles on the sofa with her are just lovely.

This makes for a really tranquil life and it's what I want for our family and our wellbeing.

Now to think up a little home working plan. I can't find any jobs at the mo for home working. I'm sure this used to exist when I was younger?! The only home work I can find is selling over the telephone. I don't want this sort of thing, I want putting screws into bags, putting things together sort of work.

I'm afraid I'm going to go mental again if I stay in my current job for much longer. Help me people, give me some idea's!!


Thursday, 10 September 2015

Doing my bit for charity

This Saturday I am taking part in a 28km walk from Putney to Henley, along the Thames with a group of girls to raise money & awareness for GAIN.

This is an almost unheard of syndrome that affected my friends Emma & Claire's mum severely earlier this year & turned their worlds upside down.

I am sharing the Just Giving page here, in the hope that some of you lovely people would sponsor us 8 ladies for our efforts.

Yvonne's Ladies - Just Giving

The majority of us have been silly enough to not do any kind of training whatsoever, so this is going to hurt. Plus I am in the worst shape I have been in for the last couple of years, so I dread to think how hard I will find it.

All for a good cause though, and Tony being the task master he is, has set us a time limit of under 5 hours for maximum money from him.

Wish us luck everyone! xx

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

All grown up

Noah had his last day at nursery today. I'm unsure as to how that happened. He was born 5 minutes ago and now his uniform is in his wardrobe, all labelled with his name ready for him to start school.

My baby is no more. We are the parents of a school goer. We no longer have a tiddler.

I am struggling hugely with this concept.

Noah has been so apprehensive these last 2 weeks and has cried every day when we turn into the road for his nursery. This is something that has never happened before, so i'm convinced he realises that life for him is changing.

Today saying goodbye to his nursery, Happy Bunnies, I felt so much more emotional than I ever thought I would. They have been amazing and he really has some little friends there who I know he will miss.

I think the knowing we won't ever go through this again is affecting me more than I anticipated. I really do no longer have a baby and I will never have one again. 
This wasn't my choice!!!!! This wasn't our life plan. Why am I not to have the excited feeling of trying for a baby again? Why do I not get to give my amazing first born a sibling that I know he would love so much.

I want to get to do the baby groups again like I did with Noah. I didn't get to enjoy them enough the first time. I want to do the first words, first steps, first day at nursery and all of those bits again. I want to enjoy them more, take it all in a little better as I am now fully aware of how quick it all goes.

I know every new step with Noah is something to look forward to and we have so many firsts still to come, although the girlfriend staying over first is something that I will never like no matter how old he is! 

I found this little poem that really sums up my feelings at the moment.

Thanks for reading my miserable post! xx