tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62784034596257465052024-03-20T01:02:54.519-07:00 Not Much Fun for a Working MumNot Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-72114895687991781132022-08-22T16:24:00.002-07:002022-08-22T16:26:08.266-07:00The Growth Continues<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Well it's been a while since I've wrote one of these again and there's a few reasons why to be honest.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Firstly, I have quite a few posts saved in my drafts that I have never published and never intend on publishing. It's like an online diary where I get to write it all down and some of those things are for me to read only.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Secondly, I think sometimes writing things when you feel a certain way or are in a certain mood can lead to too much information being given out and it's important to remember that not everyone who reads this is a friend.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Which leads me on to the third reason. I had it made aware to me that someone who does not know me AT ALL, had read my entire blog from beginning to end for some very strange reason and then used parts of it against me when telling me they were concerned about my mental health....... remember I said this person does not know me. So yeah, if you're still reading to check in......... hi! 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Anyway, the thing that has prompted me to write this tonight whilst I sit in bed with a cup of tea is my memories that have popped up over the last week from 2 years ago especially and the pictures that I shared back then. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">It was obviously a very difficult time for me and when I look back now, I'm not really sure how I managed to hold that smile and pretend every day I was ok. I can see the truth in my eyes so much and I often wonder just how much others could really see it too.</span></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38ggluK3elfNbpSliHEYy0PQfvLx7AQxnWG-IR9SZw49Fa_tmF3T3LKyPZhZz7rp5jZrSXnmsGFGONBISjSJK-DcLrJF1sUuKoXSuZfYJYk4kZfhmbl80rTC6rRGKUPFfFPZWHkPkTMZvYP6rDbhSD8OmUhveAGy37NwnNudSRmahRqK4jxWnor_GRg/s1324/IMG_7713.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1324" data-original-width="1059" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38ggluK3elfNbpSliHEYy0PQfvLx7AQxnWG-IR9SZw49Fa_tmF3T3LKyPZhZz7rp5jZrSXnmsGFGONBISjSJK-DcLrJF1sUuKoXSuZfYJYk4kZfhmbl80rTC6rRGKUPFfFPZWHkPkTMZvYP6rDbhSD8OmUhveAGy37NwnNudSRmahRqK4jxWnor_GRg/s320/IMG_7713.JPG" width="256" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">22nd August 2020</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtCr3CVNlHRXijQ6aKJ239tndo6QSiyquAMkdHRo5lc35cMeZ2feRrlwcZ51MVZqxlY64EgFis2GzURl511iX1dRJrVJEcbBwiz1P3WJ3eTgH_2qACX8MJpiimtPsd9bgsx7yqFLttHuZ7iJRRX1vDj5c5s3-3jjtx59CEHBUhISySsfjTRdxMFwQjPw/s1131/IMG_7698.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtCr3CVNlHRXijQ6aKJ239tndo6QSiyquAMkdHRo5lc35cMeZ2feRrlwcZ51MVZqxlY64EgFis2GzURl511iX1dRJrVJEcbBwiz1P3WJ3eTgH_2qACX8MJpiimtPsd9bgsx7yqFLttHuZ7iJRRX1vDj5c5s3-3jjtx59CEHBUhISySsfjTRdxMFwQjPw/s320/IMG_7698.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">20th August 2022<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I say the growth between those 2 pictures is unbelievable, I genuinely can't put it into words. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I look back and remember crying over the laptop whilst trying to do a food shop because I didn't know how I was going to afford to feed Noah and myself (baring in mind I hadn't started work yet). I was so hopeless in knowing how I was ever going to do any of this. So fearful of the life I was now going to have.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But somehow I've made my life truly carry happy times again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Do I wish things were different? Every. Single. Day. Yes I do. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Do I still hope that one day they will be? Of course I do.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But wow, I have a love for myself now that I never thought was possible. That first picture, I can't tell you what I thought about myself back then and leading up to those times. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So so so insecure, so much self loathing and knowing I had no time to put into myself to change that. Feeling so inadequate in every area of my life, because every thing I was doing wasn't 100%. I couldn't be the best mum because I was studying & working so hard, I couldn't keep my house nice because of trying to be the best mum I could, be whilst studying and working so hard. I couldn't be the best wife, because I was trying to be the best mum, keep a nice house whilst studying and working so hard. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So how on earth was I supposed to be the best version of me....... no chance.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I say I have a love for myself now, I don't just mean when I post my gym selfies or showing off the very obvious 'glow up', but in that I know I am the best version of me in every area of my life. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">With everything that has happened in my life, leading up to this moment right now of me laying in bed typing this, I have remained me. I am kind, thoughtful, always there for those who need me. Noah is my priority and always will be, even at the detriment of my own happiness sometimes (but that's what most of us do as mums naturally). I don't make enough effort with my family and it's something I need to do more, but if they needed me I'd be there. I'm a bloody good midwife and am still so proud of what I have achieved with my career, even if it is the craziest job at the moment. And I am still so optimistic about what the future could hold for me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Right now, I'm just so grateful I am not the Sara in that first picture. The thought of feeling like I did then makes me physically sick actually. Just so broken in every way. Yes, there are somethings I still need to work on and wish for in my life, but I'm a million miles from where I was.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I'm excited to see where I will be in two years time from now. Because if the growth continues like it has these past two years, I already can't wait!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Peace out 😘</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara xx</span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-25897900296075155902022-03-30T16:24:00.003-07:002022-03-30T16:24:36.290-07:00Holiday tips needed....<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hello everyone,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I decided to give the blog a miss for a while, purely because I found that sometimes time away from sharing things was the better option 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So my new take is to be less reactive, sit on my thoughts for a while and be less entertaining! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Anyway, we have a holiday booked that Noah doesn't know about (so top secret please if you know Noah), and we're finally going to Florida after waiting for 4 years from originally booking it and 2 years since we should have originally been going.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">We're not hugely fussed about Disney but want to do a day or two at the Disney Parks and we're more focussed on Universal which we already have tickets for the whole time we are there.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">We can't go too overboard on things to do whilst out there because I'm still waiting for that lottery win, but if there were things you definitely suggest doing, what would they be?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Not even necessarily parks, but restaurants, areas to visit, places to see?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Would you advise a car for at least a day to explore? We're staying on International Drive, so I know we're on the bus route for the parks, but is it feasible, for example, to drive down to the coast for a day? Is it worth doing that sort of thing?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Realistically how much are we looking at needing for spending money? We're going for 12 nights. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm already on countdown to this holiday and seeing the countdown happening on my app is exciting me!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The funniest part so far is Noah thinks we're going to Spain even though Tony slipped up and said we were going to America. So he's either trying to please me by keeping it a secret that he knows or his memory is already worse than his dads.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOVcPQ9TKikEngJMgIF2XNF_s-OJ-Frn1_Az3ljHh1Uksbi3VEhrmvtK3bmChMUzO5cA4790B1637AKk1alwILfgmJjtNCo6SKSmDjNUqmaET4ZhSJ4Ligc2VGXnVweJbOIWrM_MClOkNdTdhFYbCzMW_5UzCOu81I8VNb3Fv46TDU7ViFHi4yFDHDg/s1592/Florida%20-%20Noah.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1592" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOVcPQ9TKikEngJMgIF2XNF_s-OJ-Frn1_Az3ljHh1Uksbi3VEhrmvtK3bmChMUzO5cA4790B1637AKk1alwILfgmJjtNCo6SKSmDjNUqmaET4ZhSJ4Ligc2VGXnVweJbOIWrM_MClOkNdTdhFYbCzMW_5UzCOu81I8VNb3Fv46TDU7ViFHi4yFDHDg/s320/Florida%20-%20Noah.jpeg" width="289" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When he first found out we were going to Florida - 6th July 2020<br /><br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: verdana;">Any tips and advice gratefully received 😊</span><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Love Sara xx<br /></span><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p></div>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-81380579645836893152021-11-07T10:02:00.000-08:002021-11-07T10:26:03.200-08:00Happiness is winning<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Happy Sunday evening everyone!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope you've all had a lovely weekend, watching fireworks and spending time doing things that you enjoy doing. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've had a lovely weekend and whilst watching fireworks last night with pretty much the whole of Medway at the Great Lines, I had a real feeling in my stomach that life is good right now. The feeling that life is back to normal has made such a difference for me this year.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So this post really is just a short one to say that I genuinely feel happy right now. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm actually enjoying being single, doing what I want when I want, making plans for the times I don't have Noah and enjoying those plans I'm making. I've met numerous new people lately and it has broadened my horizons to seeing that life doesn't revolve around one person and their inability to love me anymore. And in fact it's made me realise there really are plenty more fish in the sea 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">What life does revolve around is myself, Noah and my family being healthy and happy, my home becoming my little sanctuary and providing us with somewhere safe to live, progressing in my career further and enjoying something that I have to do to bring money into the house (thats a huge win) and making memories not only as a mum, but as a single woman who has so much life to live.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I honestly cannot explain how I feel at the moment except to say I feel excited for all of the good times I am yet to experience. </span></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4a-42Wf1iUSuadwyZPUF6omY5a8ihv1e-0OKF4dfnw5-Nje9DPm55NI7yU-E9DPstSs9hmI2mEoyPk-SxocEeLIFBy11kdun7QBl9Z7X60XB335lwFqXLxA8HPdbI9_KJbxlFj-joLx2l/s1131/IMG_0569.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4a-42Wf1iUSuadwyZPUF6omY5a8ihv1e-0OKF4dfnw5-Nje9DPm55NI7yU-E9DPstSs9hmI2mEoyPk-SxocEeLIFBy11kdun7QBl9Z7X60XB335lwFqXLxA8HPdbI9_KJbxlFj-joLx2l/s320/IMG_0569.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Genuine happiness again 😊</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Have a great week coming up....... I'm definitely going to 👍</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Much love,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara xx<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-22969981975490999122021-10-29T04:26:00.019-07:002024-03-03T16:30:54.309-08:00Read, learn, educate and then you'll understand<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Morning everyone,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope you've all had a lovely half term break. I've managed to have some lovely days with Noah and today we are off to London to have dinner at one of my favourite restaurants and then to watch Matilda.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I have to be honest and admit this week has been a difficult week for me and Noah as we have navigated some challenging conversations, but if anything it has highlighted just how true he can be with me and therefore our relationship will be one of honesty and openness. I can't ask for more.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, the reason for this post is because I've had some conversations with one of my close friends who happens to be going through similar to me and from reading I have undertaken, I feel I've been able to help her with regards to self-help books and people to watch for advice and guidance. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So for others of you who have contacted me saying you're going through similar and are struggling, please do some reading to educate yourselves and ensure you are number one at all times.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">When undertaking reading about relationships, break ups, affairs and marriage breakdowns it is so important to understand your own attachment styles and behaviour patterns. This is the only way you begin to understand why you have tolerated things for so long and why you can't let go etc.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Something I have come to realise is that there was a lot of '<a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing" target="_blank">love bombing</a>' towards me in the first couple of years of my relationship. For instance I was actually told "I have never cheated on my ex girlfriend, why would I cheat on you"...... only for him to admit when we already had a baby together that he had cheated on his ex numerous times and he found it funny.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Would I have wanted to be in a relationship with him if I had known the truth from the beginning? I don't know, but I didn't get to make that choice myself. And that means the relationship began on dishonesty.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I fully admit I am an <a href="https://www.psychalive.org/empaths/" target="_blank">empath</a>. I always want to help others, I notice slight changes in people's behaviour, I pick up on tonal differences even in text messages, I want people to be honest with me at all times and I struggle if people pull away from me. And my attachment style is without a doubt <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/anxious-attachment-style" target="_blank">anxious attachment</a>. This means I am insecure, have a fear of people leaving me and often will do anything to stop this happening. This style quite often attracts someone with an <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/what-is-avoidant-attachment-style-2018-3?r=US&IR=T" target="_blank">avoidant attachment</a> style. Due to my need of pleasing and constant chase to make the relationship successful, the avoidant person has to put in very little work and the knowledge that even if they do very little to make the relationship work, the anxious person will not be going anywhere.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I mean I couldn't believe the accuracy of this 😂</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Another thing that is definitely true for me is that the trauma bond I have is so intense. If you've never heard of this but find that you can't let go of someone who has treated you so badly, it makes so much sense.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">A <a href="https://www.wellandgood.com/trauma-bonding-relationship/" target="_blank">trauma bond</a> means that you are actually addicted to the person who has treated you badly. I kid you not, it's similar to a drug addiction! Due to the highs and lows of oxytocin you get, it makes you crave them and you believe you can't live without them. You believe you love the person so much that you will do anything to keep them, but it's actually not love at all. It's a fear of abandonment by someone who you believe to be the only person who can fix you, because when times are good, they're really good and you forget that the majority of the time is actually really bad.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The only way to move on from this is going cold turkey & having no contact..... pretty impossible when you have a child, but I'm trying!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So for those of you who I have spoken to, who are struggling similarly to me, I am listing here books/people/pages that have helped me lots.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=eat+pray+fml&adgrpid=107392064607&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt-6LBhDlARIsAIPRQcLDYujLrbCeZCDIeuvTw6xPKmweapxPQmHbAAxvKKFKl4KazcFAWXkaAqeBEALw_wcB&hvadid=445862788783&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045025&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6320899359359189775&hvtargid=kwd-771975003806&hydadcr=18515_1725440&tag=googhydr-21&ref=pd_sl_1zg1ttlwzj_e_p50" target="_blank">Eat, Pray, FML</a> by Gabrielle Stone - This book is fab! I found myself nodding along to lots.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HGzFGt7BLmWDqooUbWGBg" target="_blank">Matthew Hussey</a> - The leading dating advice for women. He's hard hitting and says things in a brutally honest manner, but it's what you need to hear.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/adamcam10/?hl=en-gb" target="_blank">Adam Cam</a> - Self titled 'spiritual badass', he is bloody brilliant. Loves a swear word, is mega easy on the eye, but gives you the wake up call you need.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@recewitherdoom?">Rece Witherdoom</a> - Yes it's on TikTok, but if there's anyone out there that makes you realise an affair is never your fault, its her. She had an affair herself, she talks about how they are are not real, how they're not love but an addiction and also she gives my most favourite stat about affairs - 95% of affairs do not last and out of the 5% that do continue, only 2% make it to 10 years.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjosfxnXywYz1KOud9m0nddaRH__9CjbaAGsLGiAOZH4WBgDyubFYguDTjCMs4qZ1ApU-FPy2aGinAAqs5gP6v_LW0iDBceuZ0VPzsmmqhfcwdgU850EDLiNAIBCHErqOBrZRDIeckV05/s1131/Snapseed+2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjosfxnXywYz1KOud9m0nddaRH__9CjbaAGsLGiAOZH4WBgDyubFYguDTjCMs4qZ1ApU-FPy2aGinAAqs5gP6v_LW0iDBceuZ0VPzsmmqhfcwdgU850EDLiNAIBCHErqOBrZRDIeckV05/s320/Snapseed+2.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is my 'good luck with your affair' face 😂</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I hope this helps some of you and please know that if you have contacted me because you also are going through this........ you're not the only ones who have contacted me and you are not on your own.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Love to you all,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Sara xx</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-88911045884491380542021-10-22T11:20:00.004-07:002024-03-03T16:30:58.430-08:00Single and not quite ready to mingle<p> <span style="font-family: verdana;">Hi everyone, </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Can you all believe that we are almost in November of 2021? I definitely can't! Especially because I feel like my life is exactly where it was this time last year 😩</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I know most of you know the situation because we are friends on facebook, so I won't bore you with it all, but let's just say..... I didn't learn my lesson, yes he was having his cake and eating it (like many of you told me) and absolutely he is a massive twat.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But the good thing is I would not go back there now even if I had a gun pointed at my head telling me I had to (especially not after what I saw with my own eyes a couple of weeks ago 🤮).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, I'm most definitely single and for the first time in what feels like forever I'm allowed to look at other men and think "hmm he's nice looking, maybe I should see if he's interested". See, even though some people don't, most people wait until they're single to do that so I'm definitely out of practice.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Also, how on earth do you date when you have a child? How do I know they're not all psycho killers who want to murder me and kidnap my child. How do I learn enough about someone to know they are the sort of person I want around my child? Who will love him like he's his own and treat him as well as I do.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">This is really not going to be easy. Had I have known this would be my life, maybe I could've also lined someone up before hand so I already knew all this stuff before I had to make the decision of whether they were good enough to be in Noah's life! 😜</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Plus last time I tried to date someone at the end of last year, it caused merry hell and meant World War III almost descended in my front room. Surely that can't happen again? I mean, I didn't think it would happen last time considering the other side of the situation was in love with his new girlfriend, but it did and it swiftly put a stop to everything for me because I needed to consider Noah above everything.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">This really is something I'm not sure I'm ever going to be ready for. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm almost 40, trying to meet someone. Men at this age have either never been married/had kids and expect me to think there's not something wrong with them or they are divorced and he has his kids on different weekends to which I have Noah and therefore we can never see each other.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Then I'm back to "Is he a serial killer"....... 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And these days I'm guessing I'll be swiping left or right rather than chatting at a bar?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">If I can't laugh about it, I'll cry...... and there's been enough tears shed over this past year to fill a pool so laughter it is.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Wish me luck in this new chapter of my life, when I finally feel ready to step into the dating world.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKP9MLuRc4qTKNlqsAjwPO_KHz8fRf_a0i7xaRPMoQr1Mh0v0osK7CWUNcrsJtYC53io7X6HC_GIQRvySYsztIjDa23_hd0IRCmASraxTQ5yHnRYFd6OSrK2AbyT5f3mvIlhmtNNjSy4Vo/s1131/IMG_0092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKP9MLuRc4qTKNlqsAjwPO_KHz8fRf_a0i7xaRPMoQr1Mh0v0osK7CWUNcrsJtYC53io7X6HC_GIQRvySYsztIjDa23_hd0IRCmASraxTQ5yHnRYFd6OSrK2AbyT5f3mvIlhmtNNjSy4Vo/s320/IMG_0092.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Love Sara xx</span></p><p><br /></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-80739482426803580492021-07-01T12:07:00.005-07:002021-07-02T00:18:06.724-07:0010 Years<p> <span style="font-family: verdana;">It is T-minus 5 days until Noah's 10th birthday and something has happened that I wasn't really prepared for.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I can honestly say I have not thought about Noah's birth in an upsetting way for years. Yes, it has always been a 'pull in different directions' feeling due to being so happy celebrating the best person to come into my life whilst it also being the day that caused me so much struggle over the years, but I've never felt much otherwise.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But this year seems different and I'm not sure why.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I seem to not be able to talk about it without becoming emotional and it has honestly taken me by surprise because I've not struggled to talk about it for years.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I don't know if it's because it's 10 years which seems crazy that it has been that long, whether it's because so much in my life has changed this last year and I'm still dealing with those feelings too, whether it's because I'm genuinely hell bent on believing Noah will at some point end up with a sibling from his parent who can still have children or whether I'm just tired. Whatever it is, if you mention anything about it to me I will probably cry.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">My counsellor hit on something last week that really made me stop and think...... "every negative experience in your life has been something you have not been able to control or that you have not decided you want to happen, which affects your ability to alter your perspective on them".</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGGOTDFBruuWablkRrhsF3ElEeoJd1xtSM-lMdk_AKIfMOcj0UdJ-b38WJ8m0PA2-VU2q1zLhagM5xQoKdSgUc0shyphenhyphenXv3xmwnlrYgwUiA9dKL6U_1CPecNTaSCiXTw3UcSMFVaSguLX_Ya/s3595/IMG_7425.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2329" data-original-width="3595" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGGOTDFBruuWablkRrhsF3ElEeoJd1xtSM-lMdk_AKIfMOcj0UdJ-b38WJ8m0PA2-VU2q1zLhagM5xQoKdSgUc0shyphenhyphenXv3xmwnlrYgwUiA9dKL6U_1CPecNTaSCiXTw3UcSMFVaSguLX_Ya/s320/IMG_7425.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSKVoVtwtLDhPoOfULJyXqS4KLcnKZcvZ8tVzU0dK9LKarDrFwLZ_ufmSH6mYRPL7LPDJ8qi8Wh2Rq86hE-CJU345W-yPd3luCoKW-uaB7bxuXrVnnL1j2uZB6tJJUfPbyLSIhhzeJyj7X/s3400/IMG_7426.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2208" data-original-width="3400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSKVoVtwtLDhPoOfULJyXqS4KLcnKZcvZ8tVzU0dK9LKarDrFwLZ_ufmSH6mYRPL7LPDJ8qi8Wh2Rq86hE-CJU345W-yPd3luCoKW-uaB7bxuXrVnnL1j2uZB6tJJUfPbyLSIhhzeJyj7X/s320/IMG_7426.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiIP-5mTErCPy_XugzxmHzR8K9CDo1UwvdwJJHHJGmI8iQL05xxkuIEmzTaKD4X4AQqPdHe4yzNTwDQ2ut4IL09JRgzkWwEr82Uqwi7Jaf-8EjTr8TVC1YgK4JinQFepzCosvjMmFk8Srd/s3675/IMG_7427.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2367" data-original-width="3675" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiIP-5mTErCPy_XugzxmHzR8K9CDo1UwvdwJJHHJGmI8iQL05xxkuIEmzTaKD4X4AQqPdHe4yzNTwDQ2ut4IL09JRgzkWwEr82Uqwi7Jaf-8EjTr8TVC1YgK4JinQFepzCosvjMmFk8Srd/s320/IMG_7427.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I don't really remember those first two pictures being taken. The first picture just reminds me of being brought back from ICU and still feeling so unwell that I couldn't hold my new baby. My only thoughts were "how did this all go so wrong? This wasn't anything that I ever thought would happen". The second picture was the first time I held Noah and I think he was 3 days old. I remember wanting to hold him so much but being in so much pain doing so.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I think back to those times, it often feels like it was a different me. So much has happened since and I've overcome so much in my healing, but times like now make me realise it will always be there. The trauma never completely goes, it just evolves and isn't all encompassing anymore. It's the standard route that grief takes.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvF1ErZw6MRC1UfFK11dXm_WP80JV9qway5dMd-1Pk7Lgqw6Sq2I6fF-Koy7QulHCYtCxYqKkPaz3XzJxfBIVRKsXRx4jYvMMrfxeV3hjd5ZEOLnfECg47ZP9bfx6f8iYgokcvNSROwIHw/s686/Screenshot+2021-07-01+at+19.59.54.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="686" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvF1ErZw6MRC1UfFK11dXm_WP80JV9qway5dMd-1Pk7Lgqw6Sq2I6fF-Koy7QulHCYtCxYqKkPaz3XzJxfBIVRKsXRx4jYvMMrfxeV3hjd5ZEOLnfECg47ZP9bfx6f8iYgokcvNSROwIHw/s320/Screenshot+2021-07-01+at+19.59.54.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So my thinking is, let me get all these thoughts and feelings out now. Let me voice them and unload them from my brain before Noah's birthday, so that come Tuesday 6th July it can solely be about my boy becoming a 10 year old.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">My amazing boy, who has been nothing but loving and the best support I could've ever wished for. Who said to me the other day "mum this last year really has been the worst in everything, but at least I've still been able to make you laugh, haven't I"?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">What more could I ask for? And we are sure going to celebrate him becoming a pre-teen, pre-pubescent stinky boy with an attitude to boot!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyQv82Ca99E9wSvhlgCbKS3vbeqUDHL-9c-gZTVGjyYonpA8Q2M3U9euq2dsBGR_YtfJhj5mNwR42GwJUEYRyCwXmJlgBZaUIojejI8IPTz0Ocbw4tMCA5wmGisGI1rIgMvugtplM4G7x/s1535/IMG_7412.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1535" data-original-width="1170" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyQv82Ca99E9wSvhlgCbKS3vbeqUDHL-9c-gZTVGjyYonpA8Q2M3U9euq2dsBGR_YtfJhj5mNwR42GwJUEYRyCwXmJlgBZaUIojejI8IPTz0Ocbw4tMCA5wmGisGI1rIgMvugtplM4G7x/s320/IMG_7412.jpg" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Lots of love,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara xx<br /><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-38489613931583306352021-03-27T15:10:00.003-07:002021-03-27T15:10:19.072-07:00No Regrets<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've been so busy at work, which feels like I work permanent nights at the mo, that the weeks have been speeding by quicker than I realised. And we're now almost in April! Wow!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Today just so happens to be 12 years since me and Tony got together, and I reckon right about now I was listening to him telling me how he was going to look at a Subaru Impreza the next day and I was thinking "I never expected him to be this fit just by gelling his hair". By midnight I'd say I had managed to wear him down for a public snog, before bundling him in the middle of the lockmeadow complex in Maidstone and then heading into Jumpin Jaks. Classy right? 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've felt a little pang of upset today just because things aren't as I ever imagined them, but at the same time I certainly have no regrets about the last 12 years (well maybe some over the last 2 years but this post isn't about that and the good outweighed the bad for me and still does).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Thinking back over the past 12 years there are so many memories, happy and sad, that have shaped me as a person and that will stay with me forever. From being a 26 year girl to a 38 year old woman, I've had the best times.</span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Our first holiday together to Tenerife in May 2009 - cheesy chips, Soulja Boy Kiss me Thru the Phone, being wiped out by a wave and coming up topless, shots shots shots, so much laughter and having 'the chat' about 'what are we'.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">So many drunken arguments, very soon realising maybe we aren't good together drunk.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Both changing jobs in 2010 - me gaining a promotion and Tony securing a role in the gym within the prison service.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Finding ourselves pregnant a year after getting together in May 2010, getting our heads around the idea that it was so quick, telling parents, then miscarrying.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Realising that maybe we did want more from our relationship and selling our beloved cars to start saving for a house.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Becoming engaged in Devon 18 months after meeting in October 2010, which involved the weirdest car journey there picking up hitchhikers Kez and Gaz. So funny!</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Falling pregnant on that break away to Devon after thinking for 6 months it would never happen.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Quickly realising we need to save for a house!</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Tony going away for 16 weeks in January 2011 to gain his PT qualifications through the prison service whilst I sat at home crying most of the time due to pregnancy hormones.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Finding our dump of a house and falling in love with it, with the offer being accepted in the March 2011.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Completing on our house 1st June 2011, thinking wow where do we start.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Noah making his appearance in quite a way that would traumatise us for the rest of our lives on 6th July 2011, yet it being something so amazing that we created this little ginger boy that would be our pride and joy for life.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Tony starting his PT business whilst still working at the prison, whilst I also did hair from home and also still worked at the prison. And we wondered why we were always so tired.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Getting married on 18th July 2015 and it forever more being my favourite day. Managing to include our kitchen dance song by being our first dance song choice.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Tony going full time with PT and life just being exciting with the prospect of what was to come.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Me getting the chance to study midwifery and knowing we were both finally pursuing our dream careers.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Getting our boy Arthur and quickly realising dogs are hard work!</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Living our lives with holidays when we could, too many meals out and just enjoying the simple things in life. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Watching our boy grow up, us becoming more lined in the face (and Tony having less hair), with still so many years ahead of us whichever way life goes.</span></li></ul><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">So I can't say I regret any of that. Any of the nights we just sat around the chiminea in the garden, or watched a boxset on Netflix, or talked for hours about things that only mattered to us. How could I regret any of it?</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I get to have my best friend in my life forever because we share a son, who means more to us than anything else and therefore I hope we will never allow anything or anyone to come between us having a good relationship.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">And just for nostalgia, here's a pic from that fateful drunken night in Maidstone that was the beginning of all that we have shared and created 😍</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR8Gun7bVVHfrLYzUqW9BuODSJ8uW7Evk3lBYVRmegaZO2kSl0CYzjsiKeSivEWpSPNQR7KiobJXnZZwG-jiADW58YPBMU-o6HNhngxK6ENHTb-B75fhSpKek4jWU5pR_wQVz6fBE4sLi/s604/IMG_5649.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="452" data-original-width="604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR8Gun7bVVHfrLYzUqW9BuODSJ8uW7Evk3lBYVRmegaZO2kSl0CYzjsiKeSivEWpSPNQR7KiobJXnZZwG-jiADW58YPBMU-o6HNhngxK6ENHTb-B75fhSpKek4jWU5pR_wQVz6fBE4sLi/s320/IMG_5649.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So here's to life, with its twists and turns that creates our stories to tell the grandkids.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope you all have a lovely weekend, </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara xx</span></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><p></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-48812361404810600932021-02-28T17:08:00.000-08:002021-02-28T17:08:01.711-08:00The Yellow Orb of Positivity<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Who else has a complete shift in mood the second the sun is shining? 🌞 I know I do and I have always been hugely affected by the weather. The second there is a sniff of spring in the air, it changes everything. It's always a sign of 'better days to come' for me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">As soon as I saw the weather was good this past week, I felt a pang of jealousy that I would be sleeping throughout the sunny days due to working nights. Whilst I'm talking about work, I'll give you a little update on my working life..... being a newly qualified midwife is so hard! I feel so overwhelmed most of the time and I was petrified of being on the delivery suite where I currently am based. However, I'm surprisingly enjoying it and I think once I feel more competent in areas of the care I am giving, I will actually like being on the delivery suite. Plus the team I'm working with are just amazing!</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-b_HywiOvR81d7pVTWcOETlPGv7l2owSEc5rfE3zWCkQ3NmF4shbAUKm_zU0wy9h3NKj-RMlzc-JRuJTvztFcZPqJkjiO5H1fJ9hRQPQDy8gve6Ok0IZ45NyutLCnEGRxYS0IHhFryd9/s1242/IMG_5192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1225" data-original-width="1242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-b_HywiOvR81d7pVTWcOETlPGv7l2owSEc5rfE3zWCkQ3NmF4shbAUKm_zU0wy9h3NKj-RMlzc-JRuJTvztFcZPqJkjiO5H1fJ9hRQPQDy8gve6Ok0IZ45NyutLCnEGRxYS0IHhFryd9/s320/IMG_5192.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">As soon as I finished nights on Friday morning, I had a couple of hours sleep and then waited to pick Noah up from school. The weather was still amazing at 3:20 and I just wanted a normal afternoon, doing normal things because it feels like forever ago since I've done anything normal. So we went to <a href="https://www.medway.gov.uk/directory_record/523/riverside_country_park_and_play_area" target="_blank">Riverside Country Park</a>, got an ice cream and sweets and sat with the sunshine beaming onto our faces. It felt amazing and even Noah said he really enjoyed it. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfEeABUTRUR-XQw-ffnj5hME8Mg5ztt5qMza7HwKhyphenhyphen4yj0jOQyL_i9OBYvJRN1EYRzaGV7S8IwwQNtjmy2JNzn18alVUBlFFalLh1WtWtBPRU3ts3iTBwnzA5mbGv0emDGFSOha_Qj7qM/s2048/IMG_5152.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfEeABUTRUR-XQw-ffnj5hME8Mg5ztt5qMza7HwKhyphenhyphen4yj0jOQyL_i9OBYvJRN1EYRzaGV7S8IwwQNtjmy2JNzn18alVUBlFFalLh1WtWtBPRU3ts3iTBwnzA5mbGv0emDGFSOha_Qj7qM/s320/IMG_5152.HEIC" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, how else is the rest of my life going? Well, it's going 😂 That's all I can say about things at the moment to be honest. I have lots of things going around my mind often, but my life motto now is "things can only get better' (anyone who remembers the 90's can burst into a rendition of D-Ream if you'd care to).</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm trying my hardest to get myself exercising and moving as much as possible, so that I can feel even better about myself than I already do. One of the midwives at work is a yoga instructor and offers a yoga class to us on a Sunday morning, so I have started doing that especially on the weekends I don't have Noah. Those weekends are still the hardest time for me and it is so important I keep myself busy, something which will become easier once lockdown lifts a little.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1LxrgG-rrhKwClvAPFQFIJAzMgeqtDD85k9DtFa_SGr4I9UtW1f-Zik8TZN6cLE2FHv3iKCe6FxFWoslhDKnHsxzwqSzakCHFw-V9nUNw0grXd7kJ_nsKVaayp6URkCOBkMuNdMhnNOM/s2048/IMG_5017.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1LxrgG-rrhKwClvAPFQFIJAzMgeqtDD85k9DtFa_SGr4I9UtW1f-Zik8TZN6cLE2FHv3iKCe6FxFWoslhDKnHsxzwqSzakCHFw-V9nUNw0grXd7kJ_nsKVaayp6URkCOBkMuNdMhnNOM/s320/IMG_5017.HEIC" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Again, the sunshine has given me hope for things to look forward to once lockdown lifts. Pretty much everyone of my friendship groups have messaged me to say let's arrange something for when we can see each other. So if it's not sitting around my chiminea in the garden with Bex and Amanda eating pizza, it's being in Keeley's garden having a garage brunch reunion or trying to arrange how a group of us can get out to Kel's place in Marbella later this summer for a long weekend.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'll be honest, as the weather warms up, I'm gutted that our last hot holiday as a family was summer 2018 and that we will never do all the things we loved doing whilst on holiday together again. The early evening walks to the beach, exploring different routes, stopping for coffee whilst others would be stopping for cocktails, planning days out and laughing so much. Ohhh we had so many more holidays planned together......... sigh 😔 But I shall make new holidays with Noah that are different to before but will become our thing. I just have to pluck up the courage to book something for just us two and know that I can do it on my own.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So with a week off work booked in August, who knows if I will muster up the gumption to take Noah away somewhere on my own? Maybe I should start with somewhere in the U.K first before I feel brave enough to go abroad?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I hope you've all been able to feel the warmth of the sun at some point this past week and that along with the end of lockdown news, you all feel a sense of positivity and hope for the coming year.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">We sure as hell all deserve it!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara xx<br /><br /></span></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-23484893391988252222021-02-15T15:59:00.000-08:002021-02-15T15:59:04.087-08:00Parosmia and Phantosmia<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm guessing most of you will have never heard of parosmia or phantosmia, but if you have, you'll know what this blog post is about.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Parosmia is a distorted sense of smell and taste. Phantosmia is smelling something that isn't there.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I had Covid back in March 2020, Mothers Day weekend. I didn't have mega symptoms. I felt achey, had a headache, sore throat, a cough (that I wouldn't call continuous) and just felt run down.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The following Wednesday I completely lost my smell and taste. When I say lost my smell and taste, I mean I could've bitten into an onion and not been able to tell you what I was eating. It was the worst thing I've ever known, or so I thought! (I mean I wasn't aware of what the rest of 2020 was going to throw at me at that point, but I still think my smell and taste was my biggest loss 😜).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Around June time, my smell and taste came back and I was so grateful it was over! But then one day I was sat on my sofa and I could smell smoke. Like cigarette smoke. Now, my house is quite far from the road, so it wasn't someone walking by, but it was definite smoke.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I then realised I could smell it no matter where I was and even at work whilst wearing a mask, the smoke smell was still there.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">My taste then started to become impaired and has been ever since. Nothing tastes as it should with the exception of tea, smoked salmon, cherries and cheddar cheese (praise the lord).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'll give you an example of how things smell.......</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Lasagna smells the same as any roast meat, which smells the same as Arthur the dogs poo. But none smell like lasagna, meat or dog poo 😂 But they all smell absolutely disgusting.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The list of foods that are a complete no go are:</span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Eggs</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Meat (anything with meat in)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Bread</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Chocolate</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Fatty food (including all fried food, pastry, chips etc)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Onion</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Most fruit (especially citrus)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Nuts (including peanut butter and nutella)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Most sweets</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Fizzy drinks</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Coffee</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Tomatoes</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Yoghurt</span></li></ul><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">I think the list goes on, but that just gives you an idea of how difficult eating has been for almost a year 😩 It is physically impossible to eat some of the things on that list without heaving.</span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">There is no known cure and the hope is that the nerves will rejoin at some point to allow my brain to decipher smell and taste correctly again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I have recently found a facebook group that has over 7000 followers worldwide of people who are suffering from the same thing, although I am certain it has affected more in some way. It sounds like such a ridiculous thing to moan about, but you don't realise how much enjoyment you get out of food until you can't taste it as you should.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">If any of you are suffering from the same thing, I shall link the facebook page here so that you can join it and get advice from others in the same situation:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/AbScentParosmia/" target="_blank">AbScent Parosmia and Phantosmia Support</a><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I also bought a smell training kit from the AbScent charity as research has proved it can help speed up the recovery programme. So far I haven't seen any improvement apart from finally being able to smell my mother's day perfume from last year! At least it was worth the wait!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So this past year I've not even been able to enjoy food to console myself..... good job really because there was a lot of consoling needed and I've at least found the uni weight gain even easier to lose with no real variety of food I can eat.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So when Boris re-opens the country (come on Boris, please let me have a life), you'll find me somewhere eating cheese and forcing a gin and lemonade down my throat in the hope that it will begin to taste nice after a few 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span> </span>Much love,</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQo5u-LvrQI2Tp1PibqQ6jVqtTURVby2WwFSaOF2HS5n73CMnTRcuSF4avojwUy3mbWHL3MOyx_nE4QXoClDbeSy1OlUAtDjfSkmU_-9PFnl5_sPibDoBJx96E29RBtDmFJhmGbX3yoG9/s1131/IMG_4918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQo5u-LvrQI2Tp1PibqQ6jVqtTURVby2WwFSaOF2HS5n73CMnTRcuSF4avojwUy3mbWHL3MOyx_nE4QXoClDbeSy1OlUAtDjfSkmU_-9PFnl5_sPibDoBJx96E29RBtDmFJhmGbX3yoG9/s320/IMG_4918.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span> </span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span> </span>Sara xx</span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-90178668587407840322021-02-05T09:11:00.004-08:002021-02-05T13:56:18.036-08:00The Joy That Comes With Hope<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've read somewhere that when you feel despair, it unfocusses you from being able to motivate yourself and achieve what you want in life. Whereas hope, apparently does the complete opposite of this. That is until the hope is taken away from you.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The thing with hope, is that it is supposed to be something that is made up by the person feeling it due to the circumstances they are in and that actually there is no truth behind what they are feeling. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">However, when you are actually made to believe that the hope you are feeling is real, the despair you feel when it is taken away feels 100x worse.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, I admit life is a little up in the air again at the moment, with everything I thought was happening now very quickly not happening and the realisation hitting me that I have allowed my heart to make decisions when I should have listened to my head instead. But what else are you supposed to do when you love someone so much that you cannot imagine your life without them and you would have been willing to do anything to fix everything that went wrong?</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDOVJIS5F0823jAcJo3iG1IJgRwnDy86fdr3DOQEdvUtMw9BvMFHG2LMkCJZXYK1rWp-9_j_2bsTC3oKWqireHiw_2BVvk-ukDuHspl_YMgQiKYPz3CDfrNosrV5DVTUF6nFHw6V1AKfn/s1131/IMG_4712.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDOVJIS5F0823jAcJo3iG1IJgRwnDy86fdr3DOQEdvUtMw9BvMFHG2LMkCJZXYK1rWp-9_j_2bsTC3oKWqireHiw_2BVvk-ukDuHspl_YMgQiKYPz3CDfrNosrV5DVTUF6nFHw6V1AKfn/s320/IMG_4712.JPG" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The 'Visualisation of my Hope' - Boxing Day</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">So I'm now ready to start the rebuilding of myself again and this time I'm going to do it the right way!</span><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">1st thing: I'm currently watching First Wives Club so that I can channel my inner Goldie Hawn 😂 Gosh she's bloody gorgeous isn't she? And it is just the best film for reminding me of why these things happen in life! Men and that green grass on the other side of the fence 🙄</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">2nd: I'm going to be more directive about what I want going forward, rather than being submissive to pacify the situation and keep that false hope alive. I'm going to stop hanging off of every word and believing everything. I'm going to attempt to gain some control.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">3rd: I'm going to keep working on myself. I'm going to keep improving all areas of my life so that I am the best version of myself and therefore I only attract what I fully deserve (which, by the way, is the world).</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">4th: I'm going to be the best mum I can be. I'm going to ensure I provide for my son, I'm going to be the best role model he could possibly have and I am going to make sure he knows that no matter what happens, I love him more than anything in the world.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">5th: I am going to continue improving in my career and using the busyness it creates to take up some of my thinking time. That's the thing with this pandemic, it gives you too much time to sit around thinking and becoming almost neurotic with my actions.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Today was the first sunny day that actually felt warm on my face when walking the dog and even Noah had a spring in his step. We loved getting out today and this time the feeling initiated the right kind of hope.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope for the summer, the end of lockdown, the end of loneliness and sofa sitting, the end of tears at least once a day and the end of wishing I could go back in time rather than hoping for the future.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2MGaRFTvfvCom9FZm71bAH_nzMEwUmnPtwKCDc1nYFUOczahfcfjgD4ujbSIdAMDP4FTV_oXNIK2-9abmnJp804czWS-8CORZONuD09Bic4C2QSedg7BoxUc2kpw0o6qj47M_RYXdLrh/s1060/C11E7C85-8138-4A46-88F0-653EC7A216AA.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2MGaRFTvfvCom9FZm71bAH_nzMEwUmnPtwKCDc1nYFUOczahfcfjgD4ujbSIdAMDP4FTV_oXNIK2-9abmnJp804czWS-8CORZONuD09Bic4C2QSedg7BoxUc2kpw0o6qj47M_RYXdLrh/s320/C11E7C85-8138-4A46-88F0-653EC7A216AA.JPG" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Future</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>So, as always, no slagging off of anything mentioned in this blog please. Yes, I'm hurt but I only want messages of positivity for me and my future left for me to read!</b></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Love to you all as always and stay safe 💛 </span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">xx</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p></div>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-6644548459444702492021-01-05T09:48:00.003-08:002021-01-05T09:49:23.890-08:00Onto the new<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sorry, today's post is going to be a little bit of a brain dump. Sometimes you just have to get things out. I'm serious when I say this blog is like therapy to me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I hope you all had a lovely Christmas with your loved ones and were able to enjoy the time as best you could.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Mine was bloody lovely. We spent it as a family from Christmas Eve until New Years Day apart from a few hours apart here and there and at times it was almost as if things were normal. In fact, it was probably the most 'present' we have been in a long time due to being more considerate to each other now than we have been for years. Life is a funny old thing isn't it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So for Noah, he had a normal family Christmas and was able to share it with both his parents which for us was the most important thing. In fact Christmas highlighted to us just how much Noah needs to be priority at the moment and other parts of our separate lives have been put on hold whilst we concentrate on the most important person to us. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">⭐</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Another thing that New Year signalled for us as a family was the gym moving and therefore Noah not having his dad here every day. Which again, we knew was going to happen, but the reality of it is slightly harder to deal with than the thought.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'll be honest with you all, I've really struggled with the gym situation. And I've really struggled reading people's comments of 'onwards and upwards', 'living your dream', 'onto bigger and better' etc.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I'll tell you why.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Tony becoming a personal trainer was something he achieved with me by his side. I used to tell him all the time to leave the prison service and go for it. If it didn't work, I would go back to work full time and we'd be ok. I couldn't have been more proud of him. Forever sharing his work on social media, being the star of all of his videos to promote the business (I haven't featured for a long time but if you scroll back far enough you'll find me in every video and picture at first) and I feel I had a part in him being as successful as he is. One of my best friends mums is one of his longest clients with her dad joining soon after.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Yes he ran the business, but without me giving up any idea of being able to do anything for myself in the evenings (yes he used to work from 5am - 10pm), without me being on child duty every night, and yes without me agreeing to the gym being in my garden it wouldn't have even existed. He attended conference after conference, always doing CPD to further his learning and this was around him working full time still at first.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But that's what you do when you're in a partnership, you support each other's dreams and do anything to make them happen.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The plan was always to have a premises at some point. It had to be the plan if the business wanted to grow and it was spoken about often. We'd look at shops or units and discuss whether it could happen. Once I was qualified it was absolutely going to be on the cards. I saw it as OUR FAMILY BUSINESS!!!! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And now it's happening, without me, because of the situation that arose last year. So I did all the hard years. The no evenings together ever, the continuous working, the not being able to use my garden in the summer because people were training and now I don't get to enjoy this next part. I don't get to see the business grow and become more successful, I don't get to be part of this next step and that will eventually be someone else's life with Tony.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So reading 'onwards and upwards'....... really? Is that really where Tony is at? "Onto bigger and better"....... so better than the family he once had? And the final one "living your dreams"....... Nope this was definitely not his dream, I can assure you.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm sure it'll get easier, but at the moment reading those comments stick in my throat a little. Especially because as always, lets just say......... social media is a highlight reel.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And do you know what upsets me the most? I want nothing more than to be so pleased for him and support him in his new journey. If anyone knows what he's been through to get to where he has, it's me. Yet my emotions of what I have lost still stop me being that person at the moment.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>And one final thing...... I really don't want anyone to comment horrible things about him on my facebook or in the comments from this post anymore. If I don't speak horribly about him, no-one else should. He's human, he messed up, he made some bad choices, and there's not one of you reading this who hasn't made a bad decision in life too.</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>He's a fantastic dad. Literally couldn't ask for more from him on that front. I will stand by that forever. He's also pretty much still my best mate to be honest & the day I don't see him every day/speak to him every day is going to be like him leaving all over again.</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So 2021 for me, is starting as 2020 ended, but hopefully at some point I'll stop being bitter about the gym and go down for a session with the idiot himself. If I'm honest, I probably deserve to be the first one through those doors! 😝</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9HEybTguSfnthNZ__4YPZDfl2I8IvAOglQbrX3BL9tluuwocIJewmEAtmgmt3HhgXPMLqGALj6ezIydLO19ILI4ZEhHMwazaGBfb12ZpzaVBSea95Eqb3LC5WNWLYVeIyeWd4VzhrcVWD/s2048/CBE671AB-3D68-4E54-B326-319333549C65.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1896" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9HEybTguSfnthNZ__4YPZDfl2I8IvAOglQbrX3BL9tluuwocIJewmEAtmgmt3HhgXPMLqGALj6ezIydLO19ILI4ZEhHMwazaGBfb12ZpzaVBSea95Eqb3LC5WNWLYVeIyeWd4VzhrcVWD/s320/CBE671AB-3D68-4E54-B326-319333549C65.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">From a sour and bitter Sara. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">xx</span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-26805097894924862422020-12-27T16:16:00.004-08:002020-12-27T16:16:20.294-08:00A Birthday Ode to Myself ♥️<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara it's your 38th birthday,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And what a year it's been is all I can say.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">2020 was the year so full of promise, </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">With dream holiday plans and a university finish.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Never did you expect your life to turn upside down,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">With heartbreak and upset and feeling like a clown.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But the year has not been all bad,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Your dream job you worked hard for you did indeed bag.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And a 1st Class Honours you achieved in your degree,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Although you never got to celebrate properly.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The year that Covid added to the stress,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">One positive was that you now fit in that size 8 dress.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And sometimes 'things happen for a reason' comes into play,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">With things making sense more and more each day.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So who knows what the future will hold, </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But happiness is the aim, with a smile that is bold.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Here's to being 38! To finding out more about myself, making decisions best for me and choosing the life I want.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMn6X56trAPlI9LVavUGBfIuEqAOkcHCPZtKM8KL3NXhvUlYCwhEejDfLD6zHEoC8Z_3Ys6VtAlQc-MOvHuydZVQBdoqrCUBNMt37MCKdlx-qJ0XAsYm90IwJFOoqyffwobJAltbTMF0Qs/s2048/F6F59A53-89E6-462E-B95B-E49F37ACD063.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMn6X56trAPlI9LVavUGBfIuEqAOkcHCPZtKM8KL3NXhvUlYCwhEejDfLD6zHEoC8Z_3Ys6VtAlQc-MOvHuydZVQBdoqrCUBNMt37MCKdlx-qJ0XAsYm90IwJFOoqyffwobJAltbTMF0Qs/s320/F6F59A53-89E6-462E-B95B-E49F37ACD063.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sara </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">xx</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-5843173735664172812020-12-10T16:07:00.004-08:002020-12-10T23:43:06.977-08:00Confident? Me? Of course I am!<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Wow, another couple of weeks has passed and the growth I have achieved on a personal level is unbelievable.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I can't deny that lots of you have noticed how much weight I've lost since the summer and I often get asked how I have achieved it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Well.......... if I was to say I achieved 3 stone weight loss in approx 11 weeks, I would be telling you the truth, but the way I achieved it wasn't the best way to do it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I physically couldn't eat when dealing with everything that happened over the summer. I had no appetite, I physically struggled to eat 2 parsnips at my mums for Sunday dinner and I even turned down dessert. For me to turn down dessert says that I wasn't eating right! But it also shows just how your emotional wellbeing affects other things such as feelings of hunger and the gut itself.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Do I feel better about myself due to the weight loss? Absolutely yes! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Has my confidence skyrocketed? Again, absolutely yes! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Is this all to do with my weight? A part of it is, yes I admit. I love looking in the mirror now and not being disgusted with how much weight I had put on. I enjoy putting on clothes that are more what I want to wear without worrying that they show as many lumps and bumps as they did before.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But does my increased confidence all come from my weight loss....... no it doesn't.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I have many different factors in my life that have hugely boosted my confidence. A huge one is my job. If I could explain just how happy I am at work and how accomplished I feel now that I am finally a midwife, I'm not sure you would still fully understand! I literally love every single thing so far about being qualified.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Another thing that has boosted my confidence is the people I am surrounded by. If I'm not receiving amazing messages from my family and friends asking how my day has been at work, or just telling me that I am smashing this thing called life, I am being made to feel special by other people in my life who have made me realise that I am completely deserving of smiling and being happy again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, no it's not all about my weight, how good my face looks now its slimmer, or if my hair has been styled perfectly, but the fact I'm no longer repulsed by own reflection has certainly helped.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I thought I'd add some photos to show two very different times in my life, where you would automatically think that they are before and after photos of weight loss. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">But the main elements from the before pics showcase an unconfident, unhappy, stressed woman who felt not sure on what was happening in her life and the after pics show a confident, happy, proud woman who is finally knowing her place in life.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Before</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_nvST3-rrsJfUYVl7ikf_Vc_GYj3Uif9pb24jvdoyh_M7slwddQR7WP_j-T4ruwtFtT8RhoLx2PqTT9ItgdWEhgxyp0aGA2aSn7jxpS5quWmYmD25gWeUSyMOZ_UTCiF9ELA2Nw6T78tv/s1600/4fdcf538-4b3a-4f6c-976d-243c3a2e3fe5.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_nvST3-rrsJfUYVl7ikf_Vc_GYj3Uif9pb24jvdoyh_M7slwddQR7WP_j-T4ruwtFtT8RhoLx2PqTT9ItgdWEhgxyp0aGA2aSn7jxpS5quWmYmD25gWeUSyMOZ_UTCiF9ELA2Nw6T78tv/s320/4fdcf538-4b3a-4f6c-976d-243c3a2e3fe5.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-7POEO8dC8yGGzzryydpQea8JlOt2RFI_IYN0oPe1-3cr-Ag6WGeJXbvX5-J6dKHvuRBMr7OMdsLEMx5gJ2zKAYz7uZyjV1mXt_3PtNvkcMN-Rn_u5s5cAX2ELmz5QZmSCK-Xs3JIw7J/s1131/IMG_2989.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-7POEO8dC8yGGzzryydpQea8JlOt2RFI_IYN0oPe1-3cr-Ag6WGeJXbvX5-J6dKHvuRBMr7OMdsLEMx5gJ2zKAYz7uZyjV1mXt_3PtNvkcMN-Rn_u5s5cAX2ELmz5QZmSCK-Xs3JIw7J/s320/IMG_2989.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Before</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMOP9YEVw5WDKPSbaeDoZeKZCbBbA50cxnCj_cHxDqUhrggM9J_7CURBoOKxKexkwCQ4f3zHSb4lkQp1dJsuDUrziDjEDcaH6KTR_q1uZpPcoqk6A0oTlxaXC3CPkPQEclgS-gMj3OPAi6/s4032/IMG_4515.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMOP9YEVw5WDKPSbaeDoZeKZCbBbA50cxnCj_cHxDqUhrggM9J_7CURBoOKxKexkwCQ4f3zHSb4lkQp1dJsuDUrziDjEDcaH6KTR_q1uZpPcoqk6A0oTlxaXC3CPkPQEclgS-gMj3OPAi6/s320/IMG_4515.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH87h07KmW_MdVYWjrb5nQN168Qm6UPcHSmjAqKu2vXTz4cMZUHYhATrS4ut7xMT_kA8o4s0yJNZ6U6N65QEHG_JiyZzI94ph6knG19vLPOhootflVWAUWKKSZjfxIA92F2jgq_nbF0MGM/s2048/3CDA1486-ECA4-4DEE-A89E-F025A52309E7.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1785" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH87h07KmW_MdVYWjrb5nQN168Qm6UPcHSmjAqKu2vXTz4cMZUHYhATrS4ut7xMT_kA8o4s0yJNZ6U6N65QEHG_JiyZzI94ph6knG19vLPOhootflVWAUWKKSZjfxIA92F2jgq_nbF0MGM/s320/3CDA1486-ECA4-4DEE-A89E-F025A52309E7.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">This is also another little reminder of 'what you see on social media isn't always true', because nobody would have believed that I wasn't feeling like a confident accomplished woman in the 'before' photos I have uploaded.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope you all have a lovely weekend whatever you are doing in lockdown. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Much love. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">xx</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-26646497139783835702020-11-22T08:14:00.000-08:002020-11-22T08:14:02.982-08:00On the up!<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">If anyone had of told me 14 weeks ago that I would feel happy and positive about my future, I would have told them to go back to the funny farm they came from! I just didn't see how it would be possible to feel how I feel now so soon to be honest, and it's taken me by surprise (I mean what hasn't this year). But things are definitely on the up and I feel really good! Now we just need lockdown to go away so I can get more of these cuddles with my new nephew!</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCiZxrYh4ohaGQ1Wdl3nsxCrhXNsL3MuXoQ1mj2UrRHawBSgrL-bXO79o5JAgGUYb0u5Het81qhtJhlmw1byAIA-B4EWyJ-zooEaVm6gDz7K5myCwFzuBdSl7ghjjEeQMwajZffhpIXxyU/s1131/IMG_2994.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCiZxrYh4ohaGQ1Wdl3nsxCrhXNsL3MuXoQ1mj2UrRHawBSgrL-bXO79o5JAgGUYb0u5Het81qhtJhlmw1byAIA-B4EWyJ-zooEaVm6gDz7K5myCwFzuBdSl7ghjjEeQMwajZffhpIXxyU/s320/IMG_2994.JPG" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm feeling mega excited that December is just around the corner and my front room will no longer be full of boxes as of next weekend, so I can think about getting the Xmas decorations down.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I think I might buy a few new decorations this year, just to signal the start of a new era, with some light up letters from M&S being the first purchase. In fact, I'm going to order them now whilst i'm on my laptop!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">These are the letters and I've bought 'S & N' for me and the boy 😍. I already know where I want to put them and I think i'll be hard pushed to put them away after Xmas!</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9KMAtJSB4TPB0zh491jAy_9xGF1E3ipXSMV4QDwO7l5139K8tMe_deqsSFHPfzzZBHpGPVGDkzESqIZocLV4xeDidKXpiQsm1qI04IhyphenhyphenOiP9E8AZt9G5verZN8raf7S_TCsPsBjoicX-1/s556/Screenshot+2020-11-22+at+15.49.11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="541" data-original-width="556" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9KMAtJSB4TPB0zh491jAy_9xGF1E3ipXSMV4QDwO7l5139K8tMe_deqsSFHPfzzZBHpGPVGDkzESqIZocLV4xeDidKXpiQsm1qI04IhyphenhyphenOiP9E8AZt9G5verZN8raf7S_TCsPsBjoicX-1/s320/Screenshot+2020-11-22+at+15.49.11.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">So far we've had Bedgebury lights cancelled for next Sunday which is disappointing, I've had meals with friends cancelled and I'm waiting for Father Xmas to not be able to go ahead. However, I've made lots of new plans just recently in the hope that lockdown does in fact lift at the beginning of December & I really hope they can go ahead (I know its probably not going to happen, but a girl can dream).</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've also finally started Xmas shopping. I'm usually so organised, but have felt all over the place this year, so much so that I've struggled with the idea of buying gifts. But I'm on it and slowly spending a small fortune on gifts. Why is it the more they cost, the smaller they are and the less room they take up in the stocking? Therefore, it looks like you've barely bought anything!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I'm on the hunt for a digital only PS5........ Again a girl can dream (he already knows he might have to wait until January).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hope you are all starting to feel festive now that it's just around the corner and if Heart radio at work on Friday is anything to go by, it's time for Michael Bublé to start defrosting and Mariah Carey to get that voicebox warmed up!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">It really is the most wonderful time of the year 🎄.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">xx</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-37496971558674116932020-11-13T08:43:00.001-08:002020-11-13T09:16:02.620-08:00Please, let there be no more surprises this year!<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">For those of you that follow my social media, you will know that Noah had a little trip to hospital last night.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">He has had a hazelnut allergy forever, which was the cause of his eczema when he was a baby (not made worse by me feeding him Nutella on toast weekly obviously). This was confirmed by a skin allergy test when he was 3.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">However he has never had it managed by the doctors etc, so when I called them earlier this year to ask if we were ever going to get a follow up, I was shocked to know that they had no idea what I was talking about. They had no record that he had been for a skin allergy test, that he had a hazelnut allergy or that we just managed it with piriton.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">We were sent for another skin allergy test and were told he doesn't really have a nut allergy and the hazelnut one had reduced so much that they could do a nut challenge on the ward to see if he can eat it in a controlled environment.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Then, Covid happened.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, we've been allowing him to taste certain things:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Peanut butter ✓</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Almond ✓</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Brazil nuts......... ❌</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">From him eating the chocolate covered brazil nut to Tony ringing 999, he thinks it was about 12 minutes. He had 'double dosed' piriton into him, but it hadn't touched it. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I was at work and got a text to say "Noah has got a Brazil nut allergy as well" quickly followed by "Looks like the Brazil nut allergy is worse than the hazelnut allergy".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Then my phone is ringing. Whilst I'm about to give a woman a fragmin injection 😳 And Tony isn't speaking, so I'm thinking "oh my god, Noah is dead" (yes that is what your mind does when you're an anxiety ridden weirdo). Then the words "he's in the ambulance now".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I had completely missed the text message saying "I've had to call 999".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Cue me literally saying to the other midwives "I need to go, I've done the woman's obs but haven't documented them and her fragmin is waiting to go..... I'm not even getting changed".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I got to home (luckily took me 5 mins), the ambulance was still sat outside and I was able to get straight in. His little face was all swollen, his eyes were huge, his tongue was hanging out of his mouth because it was so big and his face was purple. They said that he was swollen 3 times the size to what I was seeing and he was on his way to anaphylaxis, before they gave him the injection of antihistamine.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I managed to finally snap a photo once we were on our way to the hospital. The swelling had gone down a bit more he was looking a little more normal.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_LK1sTFMQgAtmRS24XgPGFeWtUX_dQx3-pSKuBLsPM9F48KgmFn1e9q5aAUy_7WzDDOu9D-ctRxBN2ETF1GkAkiu6X4FGpDtq2V_f-WlUPDBLDbAwZD8Rm9Y6OnL0_Uh7jkMxwZDBgKsx/s2048/IMG_2836.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_LK1sTFMQgAtmRS24XgPGFeWtUX_dQx3-pSKuBLsPM9F48KgmFn1e9q5aAUy_7WzDDOu9D-ctRxBN2ETF1GkAkiu6X4FGpDtq2V_f-WlUPDBLDbAwZD8Rm9Y6OnL0_Uh7jkMxwZDBgKsx/s320/IMG_2836.HEIC" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Once we were at the hospital, we could only allow one parent to come through so Tony waited outside which I felt awful about, but otherwise the hospital were amazing. They did his observations & cannulated him with an amazing lady who brought an iPad along to distract him. She talked him through every single thing that was happening and genuinely they were fabulous.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYshBgNb4ZGE9KJqH_WTmuR5xpt8PB9bT8R-b6mh6dXBhGJwe6eyzSh8We1mbvFf3acB-lc0_JMON7gE9fbabvjgpy7zJMn7P9ss2PYPgwFi3enDvT4RWq6hf2jj8EzvBiUxRySWETySL4/s2048/IMG_2838.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYshBgNb4ZGE9KJqH_WTmuR5xpt8PB9bT8R-b6mh6dXBhGJwe6eyzSh8We1mbvFf3acB-lc0_JMON7gE9fbabvjgpy7zJMn7P9ss2PYPgwFi3enDvT4RWq6hf2jj8EzvBiUxRySWETySL4/s320/IMG_2838.HEIC" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMDKA2UJ1h6XKz0ejqks63pcHhE_8FUGsNu4cwd3xHNGjNQ3Vb0IIfl2GRKZhjI1qXnUqhIN4Yo6pmchYXtGBiR7CLAx4DzSNCIBg1cOvn3w-9yPHjxYU5_fHZhqiEIihR-k2LPNL5uLT/s2048/IMG_2840.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMDKA2UJ1h6XKz0ejqks63pcHhE_8FUGsNu4cwd3xHNGjNQ3Vb0IIfl2GRKZhjI1qXnUqhIN4Yo6pmchYXtGBiR7CLAx4DzSNCIBg1cOvn3w-9yPHjxYU5_fHZhqiEIihR-k2LPNL5uLT/s320/IMG_2840.HEIC" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Once he was given the steroids through the cannula, he was left to lay down and given a portable DVD player so that he felt relaxed and comfortable. He literally changed in front of my eyes and the widespread rash, redness and swelling reduced so quickly.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH3NMHV5XdORIX8qMO-d-8fVoFKljZf6eOqmr4Y9J0jbmwTQBkj0wceAATlIfN5US_oRS4rO2z8ddodizrcSiGzJfJR9bWoc-k7rpjBAwIqxbXBvWs61B2go6_gY2Le8C46vXrfNj2QP1/s1131/IMG_2844.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH3NMHV5XdORIX8qMO-d-8fVoFKljZf6eOqmr4Y9J0jbmwTQBkj0wceAATlIfN5US_oRS4rO2z8ddodizrcSiGzJfJR9bWoc-k7rpjBAwIqxbXBvWs61B2go6_gY2Le8C46vXrfNj2QP1/s320/IMG_2844.JPG" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfU3gcK41JsMXa5aPNTzgiQ-H7F0kdI-aF0XNVBiYrIUEodZFIZYvurTv_KZbBMzPyFxWD1b6TRxd4o-1MoDzOfQZImbDs9rfyxUiP8Hy3wmym54NiVwBVmTI1kt2HYzuBaWN439B8jjH3/s2048/IMG_2845.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfU3gcK41JsMXa5aPNTzgiQ-H7F0kdI-aF0XNVBiYrIUEodZFIZYvurTv_KZbBMzPyFxWD1b6TRxd4o-1MoDzOfQZImbDs9rfyxUiP8Hy3wmym54NiVwBVmTI1kt2HYzuBaWN439B8jjH3/s320/IMG_2845.HEIC" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Once the rash had gone and they had done his obs again, they were happy for him to leave, but they did say it will be safer to not eat any nuts at all and we must get an epipen for future. Safe to say I've already had one prescribed today!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">He requested McDonalds for the way home, so we knew he was on the mend 😂 And he's acted like a celebrity today at school!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">All I can say is thank goodness Tony acted so quickly and didn't mess around wondering whether he would be ok or not. The alternative ending to this situation just isn't worth thinking about. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I think my need for botox will be even stronger after that ordeal, because it must've aged me a few years!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Kids = stress! Fact!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Have a fun weekend all. xx</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-81629620317575720472020-11-02T01:38:00.003-08:002020-11-02T01:38:56.027-08:00Sharing Parenthood<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I suppose it's something I'll get used to eventually, BUT I hate this alternate weekend parenting so much.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">For those of you who have followed my blog from day one, or if you personally know me, you will know what happened when we had Noah and basically how precious he is to me (not that everyones child isn't precious to them, but I admit I'm psychotic about my time with him).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I have such a big hang up about missing things with him, missing big events in his life, just missing out on time with him, which I still think stems from feeling like I missed so much with him at the beginning (which now being a midwife I'm aware I really didn't miss much, but there are things I will never get back).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So now I get even less time with him, through no fault of my own and I really hold a grudge about it. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm now going to get 50% less weekends with him throughout his childhood. That equals a lot of time I'm going to miss. I'm going to get 50% less opportunities with him. And due to being a working mum, who works unsociable hours, it's not like I get every evening with him.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So last week in half term I had Wednesday and Friday with him, which I'm sorry but I didn't sign up to this small amount of time with my son. This isn't a choice I made and it's something I'm really not happy about.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And I can't even let my mind travel to the fact that he'll spending time with another woman at some point instead of me, because I'm not sure I will be held accountable for my actions if I do 😂</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The only positive I can take from it is that it gives me time out to be Sara, to have fun with friends and start to forge a new path for my life.</span></p><p>❤</p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Are these feelings normal? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Maybe I would be feeling different if I too wanted this, but I never wanted this life for Noah (or me). I'm sure no-one ever wants this path to be their life, but it's not like we've made this decision together because Noah was growing up in a volatile atmosphere. In fact, it was nothing like that.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So yes, I feel cheated of time with my one and only child due to decisions I did not make or want.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Again, all I can do is hope that with time things become easier and that once I have more focus in my life and exciting things to look forward to, these weekends become something that brings happiness to me. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">5 weekends without him down....... so many more to go 😩</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoUXmaYuCV3kwAbsyQkjFea7n_3a3JYMotA8wMOehKokFZvi_zxY61jC7KiOokayJD3BYiwUGO1Us1sgZI47OjuPDGiOPLo1mlLIJ_cNnISda3Itrt_62zkSX0mmP7Q_pYhJJzHgOSGVwy/s443/Screenshot+2020-10-31+at+16.32.03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="348" data-original-width="443" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoUXmaYuCV3kwAbsyQkjFea7n_3a3JYMotA8wMOehKokFZvi_zxY61jC7KiOokayJD3BYiwUGO1Us1sgZI47OjuPDGiOPLo1mlLIJ_cNnISda3Itrt_62zkSX0mmP7Q_pYhJJzHgOSGVwy/s320/Screenshot+2020-10-31+at+16.32.03.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-30852463345671650572020-10-30T16:00:00.001-07:002020-10-30T16:00:19.899-07:002020 - The Year Of Ups and Downs<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Well, hello everyone! </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">This is a blast from the past isn't it?!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I just today thought about starting my blog again, because not only is it the best form of therapy, I also love writing in this way. Then tonight I was chatting to an old friend and she mentioned my blog. The coincidence was too much, so here we are.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm sure we can all agree that 2020 has been the worst year for so many people. Loved ones have died, businesses have been lost and for me, marriages have ended. For any of you that were shocked at my news....... I was just as shocked as you. In fact I think I still am. It's just all very surreal.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So lets rewind a little; I'm a qualified midwife now!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I finished my degree with a 1st Class Honours Bachelor of Science in Midwifery! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The fact that my husband told me he was leaving me on the same day as my official last day as a student midwife pretty much is the epitome of 'one upmanship', but you know, we move.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So I have had to navigate Noah going back to school and me starting a hugely serious, important new career all whilst trying to survive each day that has passed since the 14th August.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And do you know what, I'm doing it. Yes some days are harder than others. Yes I am literally counting down the days for the gym to be gone from my garden. Yes my days are so much easier when I don't have to even see his car outside my house. But otherwise I think I am doing pretty well!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Noah is literally my rock. Which I know he shouldn't be because he's a kid, but he's 9 years old and he fully knows what has happened. If anything our relationship has become so close, he will truly be my best mate for life now. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">My parents and siblings have been unbelievable. I know thats what family do, but they couldn't have done more for me and Noah. I think my mum pretty much moved in with me for the first couple of weekends. And she's helped me so much with sorting things out.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">My girlfriends have been the best. Just always checking in, one which rang every day just to see if I wanted to talk or not. They've turned up at the drop of a hat, sent me flowers in an abundance and just made me smile. This includes the amazing girls at work.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">School parent friends have been such a support. Due to the situation unfortunately causing some uncomfortable feelings in the playground, I have been surrounded by people every single drop off and pick up. I feel very looked after.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And people that I don't talk to much or haven't spoken to for a long time sending me a message to say that they're thinking of me etc, it has really boosted me when I was feeling low.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">It's surprising actually that I underestimated how many people actually care about me and even like me. But all I keep getting told is that people like me because I'm a nice person. A nice person who hasn't deserved anything bad that has happened to her this year.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, looking forward to the end of the year, I have some lovely things planned with Noah. It's weird doing all of these things on our own, but I love making memories with him and they will be memories he treasures. Especially after it's been a rough year for him too.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm also looking forward to toasting the end of 2020 that's for sure! With a glass of bubbly and my boy by my side!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So 2021, what will it bring for me? </span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Owning my home on my own will be one of the first things. So that is very exciting! </span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">Divorce is another. It's already in motion as I saw no point in hanging around with it. I'm keeping my surname though. For one thing, it's Noah's surname and secondly I put up with enough shit over the last 18 months whilst trying so hard to save my marriage, so it's staying! As Tina Turner said "I've worked too hard for it".</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">I need to re-book Florida at some point for me and Noah, which will be fun.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm also hoping that I can have some time away with the girls even if it's a long weekend.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">I will achieve my Band 6 at work!</span></li><li><span style="font-family: verdana;">I WILL BE HAPPY AND LOVED BY THOSE THAT MATTER.</span></li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqBGTrFNCg2UcBm_lyJflvsrl2teq8v6fHBjKMJ3OjyXl66jjBgSKVwcwp9PPFI4xEtRa5UgrotUQ6E43uN906XgDqb21RNtUj6pI9ybjsNrImq7Y8INZ3IImnMtEgqVaOVqoAUpSLwAkF/s1131/Chessington.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="848" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqBGTrFNCg2UcBm_lyJflvsrl2teq8v6fHBjKMJ3OjyXl66jjBgSKVwcwp9PPFI4xEtRa5UgrotUQ6E43uN906XgDqb21RNtUj6pI9ybjsNrImq7Y8INZ3IImnMtEgqVaOVqoAUpSLwAkF/s320/Chessington.jpg" /></a></div></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">And if anyone wants to lose weight, just get your husband to break your heart! Because my figure right now is 'da bomb! 😂</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Chat soon! xx</span></div><p></p>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-16676626212414463992019-01-04T13:17:00.000-08:002019-01-04T14:11:07.665-08:00I kinda forgot about my blog!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV2N4AeVxef563rve2jti2IWSyHflyJzSh0rZ14rFMjI73qldhFExJzcjbrxd8kfzfjRyS86pRfLNYu4S2N50681Og6LG5AiBGCwIitw9GtxZ5dYchUa2YtkGsTQ4e3IQ87ABB4B7V3v7i/s1600/IMG_3256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV2N4AeVxef563rve2jti2IWSyHflyJzSh0rZ14rFMjI73qldhFExJzcjbrxd8kfzfjRyS86pRfLNYu4S2N50681Og6LG5AiBGCwIitw9GtxZ5dYchUa2YtkGsTQ4e3IQ87ABB4B7V3v7i/s320/IMG_3256.JPG" width="180" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello 2019!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was just casually sitting on the loo, as you do, and thought I think I'm going to start writing my blog again. I actually only wrote twice in 2018, but this really could be somewhere I write down how my studies are going, how life around my studies is working and almost a reflection of things in general.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, the title of my blog isn't really true anymore, as I'm now a student, but to be honest I'm busier now than when I was working. I'm either at University 2-3 days a week or working on placement 30 hours a week (unpaid may I add, but that frustration is for another time).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being a student midwife isn't the same as say studying English, because we actually have a requirement set by the NMC (Nursing and Midwifery Council) of a certain amount of hours being fulfilled per academic year. So when the uni pretty much becomes a ghost town around the end of May, we're about to go back out on placement before we get our 3 weeks summer holiday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know people in the 'work world' will probably be thinking "oh thats a hardship", but we actually can't take any other time off than what is set for us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We have 3 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks at Christmas and 2 weeks at Easter (which doesn't match the school holidays).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Plus as I mentioned earlier, we work 30 hours a week on placement for zero pennies. With the bursary having been scrapped, this year I will work 660 hours (22 weeks) for not one little piece of shrapnel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, with that in mind, I really savour my 'annual leave' weeks at home with Noah. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Except these past 2 weeks have been completely overridden by the panic stricken status that has occupied my mind, due to <b>2</b> assignments reaching deadline as soon as we return to uni! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm a bit of a boff-job so I purposefully got one of them finished before Christmas so that it was off of my mind, but a group presentation is still looming and is to be 'presented' on 9th January.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This last week my bed time has been approx 3am, which is strange because I'd struggle to stay in a nightclub until that time these days! I have been beavering away at my laptop until the early hours, treasuring the silent time so that I can get my work finished. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">See, it's really difficult to get uni work completed when Noah is home from school and he doesn't go back until Monday. So my time from 9pm until 3am has been optimum study time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With my sleep hours being so deprived lately, you'd think the early night I had last night would be welcomed....... but I couldn't sleep for well over an hour and instead laid in bed messaging one of my uni girls about our presentation. What is wrong me?!?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This sounds like i'm doing a lot of moaning, which I don't mean it to because I'm genuinely still absolutely loving the course and my journey.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">To think I used to earn pretty good money for a flexible job, yet my face looked like a smacked arse most days compared to now being told I'm always so smiley and not getting paid at all, tells me I made the right decision.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm now officially on countdown to 12pm on the 9th January, when the presentation will be over and i'll be on holiday mode as we fly to New York the following morning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now to learn my lines and stop feeling nervous!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sara</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">xxx</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-28403149565347310612018-04-30T15:08:00.001-07:002018-04-30T15:14:31.799-07:00#70MidwifeBloggers - A Student Midwife's life!<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've had my blog for a few years now and it was somewhere to release how I was feeling after suffering my birth trauma almost 7 years ago now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Looking back over my previous blog posts, it always makes me smile to read that the dream of becoming a midwife has always been there. Even way before writing this blog. In fact, I have wanted to be a midwife for roughly 13 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Back in 2016, being at a point in my life that I could do an access course (online) and apply for university was amazing after wanting it for so long. To then be offered 2 university places in my first year of applying was absolutely mind-blowing! I never expected to get a place on my first attempt. At 34 years old when I applied, I suppose I did have a want to be qualified before I was 40, but I just never thought I'd get so lucky.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So, now that I am a Year 1 student midwife, with only 3 months of this academic year left, has it lived up to what I always imagined?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It's full on, there's no denying that. To begin with, I think we were all under the impression that everyone before us had 'spun us a yarn'. It wasn't stressful! What were they talking about? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Fast forward to now; currently on my second placement, whilst revising for my anatomy and physiology exam and fretting about having not started my politics and physiology essay yet. Frazzled is a word that springs to my mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">BUT, it is still so worth it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Working with women, seeing families grow, seeing couples becoming parents, giving women reassurance, support, guidance and knowing I'm making a difference is definitely worth it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Fitting it all around my home life, my husband and son, is strained at times but its working. I'm very fortunate that my husband works from a studio in our garden at home, I know I am, but we're making it work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Being the first intake of students who are having to pay for the pleasure of learning and working 30 hrs a week on placement still leaves a slight bitter taste in my mouth I must admit. It's kind of an insult I think, that the government need us to train if they want midwives in future years, yet are making us pay for it. I do think it will come back to bite them at some point, due to it really limiting some people being able to apply, so hopefully they see the error of this decision at some point in the near future.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So, where do I see myself in years to come? Qualified! Thats the main thing! At the moment, that's as far forward as I can think. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm still not sure I am clever enough to do this yet. I genuinely feel so stupid sometimes, but all it takes is a quick message to some of my uni 'gals' and for them to instil some confidence in me to get me back on track. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I think I'm preferring hospital working rather than community, but with another two years of studying to go yet, that could all change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For anyone wanting to be a midwife, not knowing where to begin or having all of the knowledge, ready to go.......... do it! Go for it! Contact universities, go to open days at maternity unit's, attend conferences, find out as much as you can and go for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My motto in life: One life; Be happy Always! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We spend a lot of time at work, so why not do something that isn't a job? Midwifery is a vocation!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVLnJNRqjwJPGVyrAuc-oQHg_WpC1mHf_-YRDLA6nfgnRkMuHqD7RUbAF_dJu_cJaVtL2kiedxcIvreEmhTrjarSYfBPxl5RA1oAkjf1T1dWUBhJkbzti3G36qPJqLbqRhIces2FF_zYt/s1600/IMG_EC233852559B-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVLnJNRqjwJPGVyrAuc-oQHg_WpC1mHf_-YRDLA6nfgnRkMuHqD7RUbAF_dJu_cJaVtL2kiedxcIvreEmhTrjarSYfBPxl5RA1oAkjf1T1dWUBhJkbzti3G36qPJqLbqRhIces2FF_zYt/s320/IMG_EC233852559B-1.jpeg" width="179" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZLe45ARUImBbQ68ekO9QeJwgY6W4v6j84f3C7lbLuKMCSahtMFMjqeVhShaNSe47SpeoQ5aCz8PvaVWRmTpqUvfWkSIMnaU6aU5paMwyqT9WNXnGE6WRHD7UeR3nWpiLV8FHBBBc6WDa/s1600/IMG_26448DE7D7E3-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="851" data-original-width="591" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZLe45ARUImBbQ68ekO9QeJwgY6W4v6j84f3C7lbLuKMCSahtMFMjqeVhShaNSe47SpeoQ5aCz8PvaVWRmTpqUvfWkSIMnaU6aU5paMwyqT9WNXnGE6WRHD7UeR3nWpiLV8FHBBBc6WDa/s320/IMG_26448DE7D7E3-1.jpeg" width="220" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sara xx</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-52592942743581726232018-01-10T01:49:00.000-08:002018-01-10T01:49:30.281-08:00A woman's life<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our Christmas as a family was a write off. Mainly because Tony had the flu which started on the 22nd December and finally disappeared at the end of last week. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Whilst he was ill, he pretty much slept all day, every day and then couldn't sleep at night, sweating, shivering, coughing...... slowly dying. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I supplied him with drinks all day to keep him hydrated, as well as the 4 hourly paracetamol that he needed to take. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Even on my birthday I was awake at 4:30am texting his clients to say he couldn't work, ran him a bath after he had been asleep all day, sat with him in the bathroom and then he went off to bed at 5pm........ on my birthday!!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I now have a throat infection, joy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Obviously I don't have the deathly illness Tony had, but I feel pretty crap. I feel achy, tired, throat is swollen and agony to swallow, blocked nose etc.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So far I have been to uni yesterday, then came home and slept. Went to the doctors, went to buy a card and voucher for Tony, cooked dinner, did the bed time routine, got up this morning, did the school run, now have uni work to do before getting Noah from school later, doing the dinner and getting him to and from Beavers tonight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What has Tony done for me so far? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He's got me a drink, once without me asking for one, and videoed me snoring my head off at 5 this morning to post on social media. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There were no video's of him on his death bed, with the weird noise he was making whilst asleep the whole time he was ill. And let me explain, there were some very weird noises he was making. Both myself and Noah found it hilarious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Apparently he couldn't get back to sleep because of my snoring........... that must've been so hard for him 🙄</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't get me wrong, he was really ill over Christmas, much more ill than I am now, but even if I was as ill as him, I wouldn't have the choice to be as ill as he was. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The jobs around the house would still need doing, Noah would still need looking after, food would still need to be cooked etc.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why do the women draw the short straw with illness? And is that why men believe they are more ill than us, because they can actually be more ill than us? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Women who are ill, but on the school run, doing the weekly shop, continuing as normal because they don't have time to be ill ....... I hear you, I see you, you're the best! 🙋</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Signing off with a sniff and a cough,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sara</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">xxx</span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-28877632936156400862017-11-30T11:42:00.000-08:002017-11-30T11:42:52.944-08:00What are the chances.....<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I had my first shift as a student midwife this week and wow!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The most crazy thing happened!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, a bit of background info..... an old school friend contacted me to ask when I was going out on placement as she was due to have a baby at the end of November. She said it'd be brilliant if I ended up with her whilst she was having the baby, but the chances of that happening would be very slim.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fast forward to my first shift and as I walk into the first ever birth I've attended, it was my school friend!!!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING?!?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bound by confidentiality, all I can say is that she was absolutely amazing! A true warrior, who showed exactly why women are the most amazing gender when it comes to what they can endure during childbirth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Safe to say I felt so utterly privileged to be able to help and support her after the birth and cannot believe this is going to be my job in the future. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The most special time in a woman's/families lives, and I get to be there to witness it all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If Carlsberg did 'most amazing job in the world'............ 😍</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">xx 🤰🏻xx</span><br />
<br />Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-82684364477099927622017-11-19T14:14:00.000-08:002017-11-19T14:14:43.521-08:00Sometimes there are things more important...<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As lots of you know, I've had times in my past where my mental state has clearly been off the scale and has had a firm grip on my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'll be honest, I'm still on my mental pills, but I'm ok with that. I wouldn't expect a heart patient to not take their pills every day, so why should mental health be any different?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One thing I've noticed though is that I am super happy at the moment. In that I feel great!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The thing about this that amazes me is that I am really unfit and overweight at the moment and you would think this would have the opposite affect on my mood, but it really hasn't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't get me wrong, i'd probably prefer to look a little more desirable in my husband's eyes, but he's married to me now. ha ha! (plus he has seen me bigger).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've noticed though that I'm not hugely unhappy with how I look and if I could afford new clothes, then I really wouldn't be too bothered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The problem i've got is that all of my clothes in my wardrobe are a size 8-10 and I am now a definite 12-14! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I tried to get on a pair of leather trousers the other day that I was sure were a size 12. When they got to my mid-thigh range and weren't going any higher, I took them off to check the size. Aaaaaaah they were from my size 8 days and there was me, sweating, thinking I stood a chance of wearing them!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have taken a step back though and have decided that for me, feeling this great in my mind and self, is more important than anything else.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know that there are other factors for my feeling great, such as university, new career, amazing home life, happy marriage etc, but I just can't help but feel that my weight doesn't need to be a focus right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know for health reasons I need to get fit again, something I most definitely am not at the moment, but this will fit into my schedule soon (most probably when I have caught up with Grey's Anatomy and leave the sofa).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Everyone is different and for some people wearing a size 14 would be enough to send them into a deep depression, but for me, when I think back to not being able to remember a time when food didn't have a numerical meaning, being happy in myself is really important right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's coming up to the most wonderful time of the year........ be happy, eat cake, drink wine :-) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">xx</span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-38051245736338661112017-10-22T06:40:00.000-07:002017-10-22T06:40:51.554-07:00So much has changed!<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I haven't blogged in forever! So much has been happening that I just haven't had a chance to put any of it down on 'paper'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As many of you know (because I don't stop going on about it), I am now a STUDENT MIDWIFE!!!! The one job I have wanted to do forever!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's funny because on Timehop or Facebook memories I quite often have a status pop up saying how much I would love to be a midwife and the time has finally come! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have now been at university for 7 weeks tomorrow and the time is flying. It's exciting, but daunting and completely wonderful all at the same time. I truly cannot believe even now that I am on this journey of what I think is the best job in the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our cohort, big up the SM17 posse, are already going to be friends for life and I genuinely can't fathom how I got so lucky to be on this journey with such a great group of women.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Unfortunately we are sworn to secrecy, due to being in a professional role, by the NMC with regards to information about our student midwife lives, but I have been given my first choice hospital as placement and in my opinion the best first area for practice. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I am lucky, I could have hands on with a delivery of a baby before the end of the year!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm hoping it all works out with childcare for Noah, but so far mum guilt has taken a back seat as I can attend 2 of his assemblies and the Santa's grotto day I have booked. It was just pure chance that I am not on shift for those days, but it means I don't feel like the worst mum!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It really is difficult for mum's to follow their career dreams, when it shouldn't be so hard. Why is it that women have to sort childcare, and be able to do the school run etc? Why does this never fall under the remit of dad? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am very fortunate to have Tony who is self-employed, as he really does take on half of the parenting responsibilities to help me follow the path I want in life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hopefully I can start to blog a little more, documenting what I can of my journey and showing people how you can be a woman, who is a mum, but also wants the most out of life and a career.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm sure it's not going to be all smooth sailing, but at the moment I couldn't ask for it to have gone any better! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">xx</span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-82881031839712275962017-05-07T13:16:00.001-07:002017-05-07T13:20:51.273-07:00Save our Sure Start Centre's!!<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As many of you may have seen that there has been a plan announced to close Sure Start Centre's across Medway to cut back on funding and spending across the Medway Towns.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am appalled by this decision. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When I was a new mum to Noah, we had just moved to Medway. I knew nobody whatsoever who also had young children and having been through an ordeal when having him, the health visitor was concerned that I would be stuck indoors all the time without a chance to socialise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">She advised me to attend the Sure Start Centre's and I'll be honest, I was a little sceptical. I thought they were where people went to be taught how to parent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">She gave me a timetable and there was a group on Wednesday's called 'Baby Banter', which was for newborn age and upwards. I thought I would give it a go.........</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">From the first time of being there, I met one of my now close friends Bex and her little girl Florence. We were in the same boat that our babies were newborns and we were only there for the social side of things really, but it was great. I had someone to talk to, to ask questions, moan to about life with a newborn and I enjoyed it every Wednesday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I then signed up for baby massage classes, where I met another of my now two close friends, Amanda and Zinah. Again, the baby massage was a bit hit and miss. Noah enjoyed the first class but cried the rest, Zinah's son Luke slept every class and Amanda's Jake pooed all over her one session, to the point she was covered in it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We still talk about these things now, almost 6 years on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We then met another few mum's Caroline and Claire, again who I am still friends with now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This was all from ONE sure start centre. Not to mention some of the others I have been to. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">These centre's are a lifesaver to new mums. It can be such a lonely, difficult place being a new mum and they give you a chance to meet people who are in a similar situation and give you that little nudge to let you know you are doing things right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Without the Sure Start Centre's I would have been someone who sat indoors with a new baby every day, already feeling low from Noah's birth and becoming more and more lonely as the days go on. I could have quite easily been another PND statistic, which I am sure the centre's helped save me from.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How many more new mum's are going to miss the vital help these centre's offer? How many new mums are going to end up feeling lonely, with no weekly group to attend with familiar faces that they can enjoy seeing?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How many new mums and babies who may have a turbulent home life will miss out on the chance for this being picked up or even for somewhere to go and escape the life they live amongst?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The closing of these centre's is a disastrous decision and I for one am so upset at the possibility that new mums are no longer going to have the opportunity to make life long friends and memories along the way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">SAVE MEDWAY'S SURE START CENTRE'S!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">To sign the petition please click on the following link & complete to help prevent this from happening.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.change.org/p/keep-medway-children-s-centres-within-local-communities" target="_blank">Keep Medway Childrens Centres</a><br />
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xxNot Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6278403459625746505.post-62111380684675953322017-04-08T05:38:00.000-07:002017-04-08T05:38:59.688-07:00Gotta keep heading forwards....... somehow.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Time is really of the essence at the mo, so I thought I would use this morning, that I refuse to do anything but relax, to write a blog post.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Not feeling the best at the moment, which is my reason for writing a post really. I'm not very good at talking about how I feel to anyone, so putting it in writing gets things out there without me having to actually talk. It's great therapy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Firstly, my self confidence isn't the best at the moment. I've put on so much weight in the last year, that getting out my size 8's from last year in Italy now the weather is nicer, isn't great at making me feel good! Especially when I'm now a definite size 12! To add insult to injury, I have no money to buy new clothes, so I'm going to either become a prolific legging wearer or a naturist. Neither will be pretty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Secondly, my hair is sh*t at the moment. Its at the horrible in-between length where it resembles an old lady bob, but I don't want to get it cut as it takes forever to grow and I'm hoping in a couple of months it will look slightly different. Plus it either has to be tied up or short enough its off the collar for university placement, so I need to leave it alone. So in the mean time, I am clueless as to what to do with it to make it look remotely nice. I'm thinking of getting the tape extensions again as they were amazing and will just get me through this summer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thirdly, three friends have announced pregnancies in the last month and its had a bit of an affect on me. I am so happy for them obviously and would never be anything but that, but it always brings it back to the forefront of my mind that I cannot give Noah a sibling, and I am pretty much broody 90% of my time. I have had some dreams again recently, something which always happens, but I feel that its been much more short lived than it used to be thankfully.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have a great group of girls who I met through our unfortunate circumstances and without them I sometimes wonder how I would cope with somethings. To have people who truly understand how you feel is amazing. I know I have great support with family and friends but its not quite the same unless someone really knows how you feel, which these girls do. And I've never met one of them in person! Social media really has been a saviour for that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Some people have asked how I am going to cope as a midwife if friends announcing pregnancies affects me, but for me it's one dream that I have had for such a long time, it's keeping me having something to work towards. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The dream of more children was taken away, but being able to be truly happy in work has finally been made a possibility. It gives me purpose, it gives me something that actually wouldn't be possible if I was to have another baby now, so it keeps me going.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I think it's something that will still get to me even when I'm 60, when the idea of having a baby is well in the past. It's something I never got to finish and fulfil.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But putting on my midwifery uniform is something I can say in years to come, that I have completed and am proud of.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I just need to finish my access course...... I'm two assignments away from finishing!!!! And to get through my GCSE Biology. I am literally holding out no hope of gaining a grade 4 or above in that, but at least I know I have a university placement regardless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now if someone would like to pay for me to have liposuction, hair extensions, botox, lip fillers and a permanent sun kissed glow, I might feel confident in myself! Lol!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But in the mean time........ shall we go get cake?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">xx</span>Not Much Fun For A Working Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12770438681098574111noreply@blogger.com0