Well, hello everyone! This is a blast from the past isn't it?!
I just today thought about starting my blog again, because not only is it the best form of therapy, I also love writing in this way. Then tonight I was chatting to an old friend and she mentioned my blog. The coincidence was too much, so here we are.
I'm sure we can all agree that 2020 has been the worst year for so many people. Loved ones have died, businesses have been lost and for me, marriages have ended. For any of you that were shocked at my news....... I was just as shocked as you. In fact I think I still am. It's just all very surreal.
So lets rewind a little; I'm a qualified midwife now!
I finished my degree with a 1st Class Honours Bachelor of Science in Midwifery!
The fact that my husband told me he was leaving me on the same day as my official last day as a student midwife pretty much is the epitome of 'one upmanship', but you know, we move.
So I have had to navigate Noah going back to school and me starting a hugely serious, important new career all whilst trying to survive each day that has passed since the 14th August.
And do you know what, I'm doing it. Yes some days are harder than others. Yes I am literally counting down the days for the gym to be gone from my garden. Yes my days are so much easier when I don't have to even see his car outside my house. But otherwise I think I am doing pretty well!
Noah is literally my rock. Which I know he shouldn't be because he's a kid, but he's 9 years old and he fully knows what has happened. If anything our relationship has become so close, he will truly be my best mate for life now.
My parents and siblings have been unbelievable. I know thats what family do, but they couldn't have done more for me and Noah. I think my mum pretty much moved in with me for the first couple of weekends. And she's helped me so much with sorting things out.
My girlfriends have been the best. Just always checking in, one which rang every day just to see if I wanted to talk or not. They've turned up at the drop of a hat, sent me flowers in an abundance and just made me smile. This includes the amazing girls at work.
School parent friends have been such a support. Due to the situation unfortunately causing some uncomfortable feelings in the playground, I have been surrounded by people every single drop off and pick up. I feel very looked after.
And people that I don't talk to much or haven't spoken to for a long time sending me a message to say that they're thinking of me etc, it has really boosted me when I was feeling low.
It's surprising actually that I underestimated how many people actually care about me and even like me. But all I keep getting told is that people like me because I'm a nice person. A nice person who hasn't deserved anything bad that has happened to her this year.
So, looking forward to the end of the year, I have some lovely things planned with Noah. It's weird doing all of these things on our own, but I love making memories with him and they will be memories he treasures. Especially after it's been a rough year for him too.
I'm also looking forward to toasting the end of 2020 that's for sure! With a glass of bubbly and my boy by my side!
So 2021, what will it bring for me?
- Owning my home on my own will be one of the first things. So that is very exciting!
- Divorce is another. It's already in motion as I saw no point in hanging around with it. I'm keeping my surname though. For one thing, it's Noah's surname and secondly I put up with enough shit over the last 18 months whilst trying so hard to save my marriage, so it's staying! As Tina Turner said "I've worked too hard for it".
- I need to re-book Florida at some point for me and Noah, which will be fun.
- I'm also hoping that I can have some time away with the girls even if it's a long weekend.
- I will achieve my Band 6 at work!
- I WILL BE HAPPY AND LOVED BY THOSE THAT MATTER.
