Sunday, 28 February 2016

What can I do.... help!

As many of you know, I'm the moaniest person ever at the moment because I've been ill for what seems like forever!

So the piece of the puzzle I'm up to so far is that my gallbladder in enlarged, but after a ultrasound scan, they couldn't see any gallstones. I was sent home from hospital with no more information than that, no answers as to why my gallbladder was enlarged and no real fix to it.

After another visit to the doctors, she prescribed me stronger painkillers, so now I am on diclofenac and codeine daily. These still do not stop me being in pain! Her answer was that to have an enlarged gallbladder means that you usually have stones, and all of my symptoms are presenting as stones. 

I basically am not comfortable in any position, at any time. The pain in constant. I can't drive, I can't lift anything, I stand straight, I can't laugh, cough & god forbid I sneeze!

So my question is to people who have already had gallbladder problems/gallstones. Do i just keep going back to the doctors? I can't continue with this pain for much longer. I can't function on a day to day basis!

I've had a few people say that the gallstones were undetected on them, but they had their gallbladder removed and it was full of stones, is this a regular thing? Could this be what's happening with me? In this case, what do I do, just insist on a CT scan?

Will the pain eventually go? At the moment it is not easing up and I can't imagine it going any time soon. 

The hospital did blood tests & they said there is no sign of infection, yet I am on antibiotics. These finish tomorrow and there has been no change. Any idea?

The doctors seem to not tell me anything, I'm done with googling because everything I read points that I have gallstones & I feel like I'm going around in circles. 

So people that have had gallstones...... hit me up and tell me what I need to do to get this sorted because I can't cope much longer!


The person with the smallest pain threshold obviously! 


Friday, 19 February 2016

I just want to feel well..... boo hoo!

I have been ill for what feels like an absolute age now, i've really had enough!

It started about 4 weeks ago with a cough, that just started out of the blue. Went straight to my chest and no other cold like symptoms. In the mean time I had the hospital stay with the suspected appendicitis and the cough still prevailed.

3 weeks after the cough beginning, I finally went to the doctors and she gave me some antibiotics. By that point, I felt achey, really achey. My joints were hurting so much, especially my knuckles and my legs are covered in random bruises. I must have been so run down and I just thought I could fight it off myself. 

The doctor told me to go back if the bruises don't go away or I notice more of them. Well I have more bruises and now an immense pain in my lower back and round onto my ribs. It is agony!!! I can't really move quickly and I most definitely can't lay on them. So now its the weekend & I can't get an appointment until Monday.

I also still have the cough, even though the antibiotics have finished. A cough when you have the worst pain in your ribs is really hard work! Even my neighbours must be fed up with the noise from me coughing and then moaning "Ow" every time!

I literally feel exhausted. I'm not sure if this is down to not sleeping well because of the coughing and now the ribs, or just because I'm unwell. I've had my dressing gown on all afternoon and just want to sleep which is easier said than done when you have a 4 year old to look after.

I must have the immune system of an ant, which on a body the size of what can only be described as a small rhino, is probably not going to work very well.

I cancelled a night out last weekend because of feeling so ill and starting the antibiotics and now I'm fearing i'm going to have to cancel again tomorrow because I feel so run down still. I so want to drink cocktails with some of my girls. 

Fingers crossed I wake up in the morning feeling brand new tomorrow! I'm not holding out much hope, but some co-codamol tonight might make for a better nights sleep. 


The Invalid 

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Please mummy, play with me......

As a modern day mum, with a busy schedule and a lot of online life, I find it very easy to get in from work, sit down with a cuppa and check all my different platforms of social media that I have accounts on. 

It's something that has had an impact on my life now probably for about 8 years and it has got progressively worse as the years have gone on. Instagram is my personal fave, with Facebook a close second, then twitter, and finally Pinterest. Thats not including my emails and whatsapp. 

I've never really noticed that its probably impacting on Noah's life until very recently. 

He has said things such as "mummy you don't like playing with me do you", "you don't watch me do things mummy". This absolutely breaks my heart to think that his perception on this little box that I carry around in my hand 24/7 is more important than what he is doing, saying or trying to show me. 

If i leave my phone in another room, he brings it out to me, saying "mummy you forgot your phone" and I hate this that he thinks it is so important to me. 

Not only is it a hugely neglectful way to treat my completely precious child, but what chance does he have in the future of not becoming one of those saddo kids that is obsessed with computer games and tablets, if that is all he has seen growing up? I want a child who loves going out playing with his friends, kicking a ball around, riding his bike. 

Behaviour is learned as they say, and just recently his behaviour hasn't been great. I think we have no option but to take the blame for this and realise that maybe it is a huge cry for attention. Tonight I played catch with him, literally throwing a balloon to each other, and he loved it. His face was beaming. This is not something he should be excited about, it should be the norm.

From now on, I am making sure that I do not sit on my phone all night. In fact, I will not go on it until he has gone to bed. It is not fair on him in the slightest that his childhood will just be full of memories of looking at the top of my head, looking down at my phone. 

Thinking about this tonight has made me feel really emotional and I'm not sure whether the reality of how bad a parent I really am has hit me or if it's because I feel so bloody ill at the moment. 

Either way, its time for bed. 

Night y'all! xxx

Monday, 1 February 2016

Definitely 30 something.....

Just recently I have noticed that I am definitely 30 something and I shall tell you how this has come to my attention:

Whilst looking for clothes I enjoy looking at Marks & Spencer, Next, Wallis etc & find these much nicer than the usual clothing haunts! I also absolutely love a floral blouse and find this an attractive garment to wear on a night out teamed with skinny jeans and heels. 

I finally would like just normal blonde expensive looking hair. Now I never thought I would say this seeing as I do have a paunch for funky trends when it comes to the tresses, but I find myself looking more at girls like Louise Redknapp and wishing to look like her.

Expensive bags, shoes and one off items are much more appealing nowadays. I would much rather have an expensive bag that is statement piece & a classic style than lots of cheap ones which are fashionable. I also like an over the shoulder strap for a night out. Not a granny style, but I just think it looks smart.

I have been out 2 nights this weekend which I took a coat and umbrella on both nights. This has never been heard off before.
I also had money left at the end of each night meaning I have been slightly more sensible.

I'm seriously thinking of ditching fake lashes on a night out. Now I still haven't completely decided on this one, but if I can get mine lifted, then I may be happy with my own.

I'm genuinely becoming happier in my own skin, which has come as a bit of a shock to me. I'm aware I'm just your average looking girl, bit funny looking without make up on, resemble the girl from Jurassic Park 1 quite a lot of the time, but I'm happy with that. I've got my husband, my son, they love me exactly as I am & that for me is enough.

I look forward to the simpler things in life. Weekends at home, getting our house decorated, eating a nice dinner, Tony's business taking off, us being happy.

I'm really loving my 30's at the moment and we have so much to look forward to over the next few years of our lives. Getting older really actually is great! 

Now just to conquer my fear of death and dying!