Saturday 27 March 2021

No Regrets

I've been so busy at work, which feels like I work permanent nights at the mo, that the weeks have been speeding by quicker than I realised. And we're now almost in April! Wow!

Today just so happens to be 12 years since me and Tony got together, and I reckon right about now I was listening to him telling me how he was going to look at a Subaru Impreza the next day and I was thinking "I never expected him to be this fit just by gelling his hair". By midnight I'd say I had managed to wear him down for a public snog, before bundling him in the middle of the lockmeadow complex in Maidstone and then heading into Jumpin Jaks. Classy right? 😂

I've felt a little pang of upset today just because things aren't as I ever imagined them, but at the same time I certainly have no regrets about the last 12 years (well maybe some over the last 2 years but this post isn't about that and the good outweighed the bad for me and still does).

Thinking back over the past 12 years there are so many memories, happy and sad, that have shaped me as a person and that will stay with me forever. From being a 26 year girl to a 38 year old woman, I've had the best times.

  • Our first holiday together to Tenerife in May 2009 - cheesy chips, Soulja Boy Kiss me Thru the Phone, being wiped out by a wave and coming up topless, shots shots shots, so much laughter and having 'the chat' about 'what are we'.
  • So many drunken arguments, very soon realising maybe we aren't good together drunk.
  • Both changing jobs in 2010 - me gaining a promotion and Tony securing a role in the gym within the prison service.
  • Finding ourselves pregnant a year after getting together in May 2010, getting our heads around the idea that it was so quick, telling parents, then miscarrying.
  • Realising that maybe we did want more from our relationship and selling our beloved cars to start saving for a house.
  • Becoming engaged in Devon 18 months after meeting in October 2010, which involved the weirdest car journey there picking up hitchhikers Kez and Gaz. So funny!
  • Falling pregnant on that break away to Devon after thinking for 6 months it would never happen.
  • Quickly realising we need to save for a house!
  • Tony going away for 16 weeks in January 2011 to gain his PT qualifications through the prison service whilst I sat at home crying most of the time due to pregnancy hormones.
  • Finding our dump of a house and falling in love with it, with the offer being accepted in the March 2011.
  • Completing on our house 1st June 2011, thinking wow where do we start.
  • Noah making his appearance in quite a way that would traumatise us for the rest of our lives on 6th July 2011, yet it being something so amazing that we created this little ginger boy that would be our pride and joy for life.
  • Tony starting his PT business whilst still working at the prison, whilst I also did hair from home and also still worked at the prison. And we wondered why we were always so tired.
  • Getting married on 18th July 2015 and it forever more being my favourite day. Managing to include our kitchen dance song by being our first dance song choice.
  • Tony going full time with PT and life just being exciting with the prospect of what was to come.
  • Me getting the chance to study midwifery and knowing we were both finally pursuing our dream careers.
  • Getting our boy Arthur and quickly realising dogs are hard work!
  • Living our lives with holidays when we could, too many meals out and just enjoying the simple things in life. 
  • Watching our boy grow up, us becoming more lined in the face (and Tony having less hair), with still so many years ahead of us whichever way life goes.
So I can't say I regret any of that. Any of the nights we just sat around the chiminea in the garden, or watched a boxset on Netflix, or talked for hours about things that only mattered to us. How could I regret any of it?

And I get to have my best friend in my life forever because we share a son, who means more to us than anything else and therefore I hope we will never allow anything or anyone to come between us having a good relationship.

And just for nostalgia, here's a pic from that fateful drunken night in Maidstone that was the beginning of all that we have shared and created 😍


So here's to life, with its twists and turns that creates our stories to tell the grandkids.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, 

Sara xx





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