Sunday 19 November 2017

Sometimes there are things more important...

As lots of you know, I've had times in my past where my mental state has clearly been off the scale and has had a firm grip on my life.

I'll be honest, I'm still on my mental pills, but I'm ok with that. I wouldn't expect a heart patient to not take their pills every day, so why should mental health be any different?

One thing I've noticed though is that I am super happy at the moment. In that I feel great!

The thing about this that amazes me is that I am really unfit and overweight at the moment and you would think this would have the opposite affect on my mood, but it really hasn't. 
Don't get me wrong, i'd probably prefer to look a little more desirable in my husband's eyes, but he's married to me now. ha ha! (plus he has seen me bigger).
I've noticed though that I'm not hugely unhappy with how I look and if I could afford new clothes, then I really wouldn't be too bothered.

The problem i've got is that all of my clothes in my wardrobe are a size 8-10 and I am now a definite 12-14! 
I tried to get on a pair of leather trousers the other day that I was sure were a size 12. When they got to my mid-thigh range and weren't going any higher, I took them off to check the size. Aaaaaaah they were from my size 8 days and there was me, sweating, thinking I stood a chance of wearing them!

I have taken a step back though and have decided that for me, feeling this great in my mind and self, is more important than anything else.

I know that there are other factors for my feeling great, such as university, new career, amazing home life, happy marriage etc, but I just can't help but feel that my weight doesn't need to be a focus right now.

I know for health reasons I need to get fit again, something I most definitely am not at the moment, but this will fit into my schedule soon (most probably when I have caught up with Grey's Anatomy and leave the sofa).

Everyone is different and for some people wearing a size 14 would be enough to send them into a deep depression, but for me, when I think back to not being able to remember a time when food didn't have a numerical meaning, being happy in myself is really important right now.

It's coming up to the most wonderful time of the year........ be happy, eat cake, drink wine :-) 

xx

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