One Born No More

For someone who is usually obsessed with baby programme's, I've made the decision to not watch One Born Every Minute anymore. 

I usually put these programmes on reminder and record, along with any other midwife programme that I can get my hands on, but I decided I think I need to give these a rest for my own mental health. Me and my friend Leanne used to message each other throughout every episode talking about the programme as we loved it so much!

As you are all aware from me beginning this blog, I can no longer fall pregnant/have babies, something that is heartbreaking to me. I have always been obsessed with baby/midwife programmes, firstly because I always would have loved to have been a midwife and secondly because I love babies. I have thought about it and discussed with Tony that I think they make me worse watching them as not only does it bring back all the thoughts of my disaster birth story, but also makes me so, so broody!

For me to see that these programmes are on t.v and yet I skip the channel, is similar to torture as I so desperately want to watch. But I feel that for me to watch them is more mentally damaging and something that I need to give a miss at the moment.

I have mentioned before that I'm slightly crazy :-) and am currently on medication which is seriously helping (something that I hate to admit as I have always thought they are a placebo), so I need to make other changes in my life which may aid my recovery even more.

I'm unsure as to if its working or not, but I'm confident in saying I definitely feel less broody than when I watch them, so thats got to be a start.

Small steps and all that, but hope I'm getting there, on my route to being 'normal' again.

Well as normal as I could ever be! xx