I've had my blog for a few years now and it was somewhere to release how I was feeling after suffering my birth trauma almost 7 years ago now.
Looking back over my previous blog posts, it always makes me smile to read that the dream of becoming a midwife has always been there. Even way before writing this blog. In fact, I have wanted to be a midwife for roughly 13 years.
Back in 2016, being at a point in my life that I could do an access course (online) and apply for university was amazing after wanting it for so long. To then be offered 2 university places in my first year of applying was absolutely mind-blowing! I never expected to get a place on my first attempt. At 34 years old when I applied, I suppose I did have a want to be qualified before I was 40, but I just never thought I'd get so lucky.
So, now that I am a Year 1 student midwife, with only 3 months of this academic year left, has it lived up to what I always imagined?
It's full on, there's no denying that. To begin with, I think we were all under the impression that everyone before us had 'spun us a yarn'. It wasn't stressful! What were they talking about?
Fast forward to now; currently on my second placement, whilst revising for my anatomy and physiology exam and fretting about having not started my politics and physiology essay yet. Frazzled is a word that springs to my mind.
BUT, it is still so worth it.
Working with women, seeing families grow, seeing couples becoming parents, giving women reassurance, support, guidance and knowing I'm making a difference is definitely worth it.
Fitting it all around my home life, my husband and son, is strained at times but its working. I'm very fortunate that my husband works from a studio in our garden at home, I know I am, but we're making it work.
Being the first intake of students who are having to pay for the pleasure of learning and working 30 hrs a week on placement still leaves a slight bitter taste in my mouth I must admit. It's kind of an insult I think, that the government need us to train if they want midwives in future years, yet are making us pay for it. I do think it will come back to bite them at some point, due to it really limiting some people being able to apply, so hopefully they see the error of this decision at some point in the near future.
So, where do I see myself in years to come? Qualified! Thats the main thing! At the moment, that's as far forward as I can think.
I'm still not sure I am clever enough to do this yet. I genuinely feel so stupid sometimes, but all it takes is a quick message to some of my uni 'gals' and for them to instil some confidence in me to get me back on track.
I think I'm preferring hospital working rather than community, but with another two years of studying to go yet, that could all change.
For anyone wanting to be a midwife, not knowing where to begin or having all of the knowledge, ready to go.......... do it! Go for it! Contact universities, go to open days at maternity unit's, attend conferences, find out as much as you can and go for it.
My motto in life: One life; Be happy Always!
We spend a lot of time at work, so why not do something that isn't a job? Midwifery is a vocation!