I've had my blog for a few years now and it was somewhere to release how I was feeling after suffering my birth trauma almost 7 years ago now.
Looking back over my previous blog posts, it always makes me smile to read that the dream of becoming a midwife has always been there. Even way before writing this blog. In fact, I have wanted to be a midwife for roughly 13 years.
Back in 2016, being at a point in my life that I could do an access course (online) and apply for university was amazing after wanting it for so long. To then be offered 2 university places in my first year of applying was absolutely mind-blowing! I never expected to get a place on my first attempt. At 34 years old when I applied, I suppose I did have a want to be qualified before I was 40, but I just never thought I'd get so lucky.
So, now that I am a Year 1 student midwife, with only 3 months of this academic year left, has it lived up to what I always imagined?
It's full on, there's no denying that. To begin with, I think we were all under the impression that everyone before us had 'spun us a yarn'. It wasn't stressful! What were they talking about?
Fast forward to now; currently on my second placement, whilst revising for my anatomy and physiology exam and fretting about having not started my politics and physiology essay yet. Frazzled is a word that springs to my mind.
BUT, it is still so worth it.
Working with women, seeing families grow, seeing couples becoming parents, giving women reassurance, support, guidance and knowing I'm making a difference is definitely worth it.
Fitting it all around my home life, my husband and son, is strained at times but its working. I'm very fortunate that my husband works from a studio in our garden at home, I know I am, but we're making it work.
Being the first intake of students who are having to pay for the pleasure of learning and working 30 hrs a week on placement still leaves a slight bitter taste in my mouth I must admit. It's kind of an insult I think, that the government need us to train if they want midwives in future years, yet are making us pay for it. I do think it will come back to bite them at some point, due to it really limiting some people being able to apply, so hopefully they see the error of this decision at some point in the near future.
So, where do I see myself in years to come? Qualified! Thats the main thing! At the moment, that's as far forward as I can think.
I'm still not sure I am clever enough to do this yet. I genuinely feel so stupid sometimes, but all it takes is a quick message to some of my uni 'gals' and for them to instil some confidence in me to get me back on track.
I think I'm preferring hospital working rather than community, but with another two years of studying to go yet, that could all change.
For anyone wanting to be a midwife, not knowing where to begin or having all of the knowledge, ready to go.......... do it! Go for it! Contact universities, go to open days at maternity unit's, attend conferences, find out as much as you can and go for it.
My motto in life: One life; Be happy Always!
We spend a lot of time at work, so why not do something that isn't a job? Midwifery is a vocation!
Sara xx
Monday, 30 April 2018
Wednesday, 10 January 2018
A woman's life
Our Christmas as a family was a write off. Mainly because Tony had the flu which started on the 22nd December and finally disappeared at the end of last week.
Whilst he was ill, he pretty much slept all day, every day and then couldn't sleep at night, sweating, shivering, coughing...... slowly dying.
I supplied him with drinks all day to keep him hydrated, as well as the 4 hourly paracetamol that he needed to take.
Even on my birthday I was awake at 4:30am texting his clients to say he couldn't work, ran him a bath after he had been asleep all day, sat with him in the bathroom and then he went off to bed at 5pm........ on my birthday!!!!
FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS
I now have a throat infection, joy.
Obviously I don't have the deathly illness Tony had, but I feel pretty crap. I feel achy, tired, throat is swollen and agony to swallow, blocked nose etc.
So far I have been to uni yesterday, then came home and slept. Went to the doctors, went to buy a card and voucher for Tony, cooked dinner, did the bed time routine, got up this morning, did the school run, now have uni work to do before getting Noah from school later, doing the dinner and getting him to and from Beavers tonight.
What has Tony done for me so far?
He's got me a drink, once without me asking for one, and videoed me snoring my head off at 5 this morning to post on social media.
There were no video's of him on his death bed, with the weird noise he was making whilst asleep the whole time he was ill. And let me explain, there were some very weird noises he was making. Both myself and Noah found it hilarious.
Apparently he couldn't get back to sleep because of my snoring........... that must've been so hard for him 🙄
Don't get me wrong, he was really ill over Christmas, much more ill than I am now, but even if I was as ill as him, I wouldn't have the choice to be as ill as he was.
The jobs around the house would still need doing, Noah would still need looking after, food would still need to be cooked etc.
Why do the women draw the short straw with illness? And is that why men believe they are more ill than us, because they can actually be more ill than us?
Women who are ill, but on the school run, doing the weekly shop, continuing as normal because they don't have time to be ill ....... I hear you, I see you, you're the best! 🙋
Signing off with a sniff and a cough,
Sara
xxx
Whilst he was ill, he pretty much slept all day, every day and then couldn't sleep at night, sweating, shivering, coughing...... slowly dying.
I supplied him with drinks all day to keep him hydrated, as well as the 4 hourly paracetamol that he needed to take.
Even on my birthday I was awake at 4:30am texting his clients to say he couldn't work, ran him a bath after he had been asleep all day, sat with him in the bathroom and then he went off to bed at 5pm........ on my birthday!!!!
FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS
I now have a throat infection, joy.
Obviously I don't have the deathly illness Tony had, but I feel pretty crap. I feel achy, tired, throat is swollen and agony to swallow, blocked nose etc.
So far I have been to uni yesterday, then came home and slept. Went to the doctors, went to buy a card and voucher for Tony, cooked dinner, did the bed time routine, got up this morning, did the school run, now have uni work to do before getting Noah from school later, doing the dinner and getting him to and from Beavers tonight.
What has Tony done for me so far?
He's got me a drink, once without me asking for one, and videoed me snoring my head off at 5 this morning to post on social media.
There were no video's of him on his death bed, with the weird noise he was making whilst asleep the whole time he was ill. And let me explain, there were some very weird noises he was making. Both myself and Noah found it hilarious.
Apparently he couldn't get back to sleep because of my snoring........... that must've been so hard for him 🙄
Don't get me wrong, he was really ill over Christmas, much more ill than I am now, but even if I was as ill as him, I wouldn't have the choice to be as ill as he was.
The jobs around the house would still need doing, Noah would still need looking after, food would still need to be cooked etc.
Why do the women draw the short straw with illness? And is that why men believe they are more ill than us, because they can actually be more ill than us?
Women who are ill, but on the school run, doing the weekly shop, continuing as normal because they don't have time to be ill ....... I hear you, I see you, you're the best! 🙋
Signing off with a sniff and a cough,
Sara
xxx
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