We wouldn't have been trying for another baby until after the wedding next year and when Noah had gone to school (we couldn't afford it otherwise), but I just see a little baby or see Noah playing on his own and have a real urge for another baby at some point.
I have these moments where I'm happy with Noah being an only child and can't imagine loving another child as much as I love Noah, but then I worry he's going to be lonely and bored growing up with just us.
My mum was an only child as is my best friend and they both assure me he will not be bored and its quite nice not having to share things, including us as parents! Plus Noah could end up with a best friend which takes the place of a sibling (like me, ay Bex)!
Tony always knows when I'm broody again as I mention the fact that if we were rich we could afford surrogacy. He must think "here she goes again, I thought we'd moved on from this and were going to get a nice car instead" :-)
He's good with it all though and is more than aware its going to be a constant emotional battle for the rest of my life.
I just wonder if there will every be a time when these sort of thoughts are not at the forefront of my mind? Its becoming exhausting! Almost 3 years now I have been battling the thoughts of the second child I will never have and I do a good job of hiding my true feelings.
I've almost started to kid myself!
Oh gosh. Honestly this is my life. I can't see another baby without my body screaming at me to have another but then I look at my boy and I can't imagine having to share my time with him with another. It's crazy. Hopefully we are going to try soon :)
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